


Syrup Kisses and Lazy Nights

by Regrets9000



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gaybriel™, Humor, M/M, pansexual!Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:13:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regrets9000/pseuds/Regrets9000
Summary: Sam meets human!Gabe in college and something begins to blossom between the two. Angst, fluff, and humor will ensue!As of 2019 this fic will probably will not be continued.





	1. Meet And Greet

Gabriel was tired of this shit. His neighbor in the room next to his was blasting music, and though he couldn't make out the words he could feel the bass thumping through his floor.

Gabriel had a shitty day and this was not helping his headache. Gabriel had put up with bastard customers all day, but this bastard he could actually do something about. Gabriel snatched a lollipop from the container of them he kept on the counter, then stormed out the door.

He stopped at the door a few feet from his and knocked sharply. Gabriel's face tightened in annoyance and he twisted the door knob to find that it was unlocked. Pushing it open, he was confronted with loud music washing over him and he recognized it as generic love song. Then he saw the massive nest of pillows and blankets stacked on the floor in front of him.

A startled, tear streaked face peered out from under a blanket at him. Gabriel was at a loss. He stood there, dumbfounded, in the doorway for a second before backing out slowly and closing the door behind him. Outside in the hallway he stopped to catch his breath.

He had been fully prepared to tell off some partying jocks or to break up some lovebirds getting freaky, but how was he supposed to deal with THAT?! Tears, love songs? The poor kid was obviously going through some big breakup.

Feelings weren't his style, it was so much easier to hide behind humor and jokes than face those raw emotions. He felt guilty for imposing himself into the kid's privacy, and strangely vulnerable seeing everything laid out so plainly on that kid's face. Gabriel fled back to his dorm room and procrastinated doing his homework by watching TV, vowing to apologise to the kid tomorrow.

In the morning Gabriel wrote a letter and slipped it under the kid's door. Then he ran to class and tried to get the memory of those watery eyes out of his head.

Sam went to sleep wondering who the hell the tiny bewildered man who had barged into his room was. He remembered seeing his expression of annoyance slip into confusion then what almost looked like fear before backing out. By sunrise he had almost managed to convince himself that the strange encounter had been a dream.

Until he saw a letter in front of his door. It read "Hey, I'm really sorry for barging in on you like that. I thought you were a jerk for playing your music too loud, but now I kinda feel like the jerk. Hope you're not mad at me and I really hope you're okay too. Like, maybe if you want to talk about it, come see me? Sorry, again. Umm, bye. - Gabriel"

Gabriel huh? He seemed nice, and the hesitation in his letter put a small smile on Sam's face. He hadn't realized he was blaring his music so loud, and he wanted to apologise for that. Then he realized what time it was, and grabbing his bag, he ran out the door hoping he wasn't too late to class.

\---------------

Gabriel was staring listlessly at his calculus homework. The teach had been extra cranky today because he hadn't turned his previous homework in either. Twirling the lollipop between his fingers Gabriel laid there on his bed and generally ignored the work he needed to do.

Then a knock came at his door. Gabriel stood up, momentarily confused at who it could be, before he remembered writing the letter in his morning haze. Looked like the kid had decided to take him up on his offer. Opening the door, he saw a tall, brown haired beauty looking down at him.

"Hey." The kid said. Gabriel could get a much better look at him than before when he had been curled up in a blanket pile. He hadn't expected the kid to be this tall. Or this damn attractive. Damn.

"Howdy." Gabriel returned with a wink. The kid rolled his eyes.

"Is this a bad time?" The kid was ridiculously polite.

"Nah, it's not like I was getting anywhere with this," Gabriel gestured at his homework.  
"Come on in." The kid walked in and Gabriel noticed how he had to duck slightly to get in the door frame. Smirking, he went to the kitchen.

"Sucker?" He said, offering a lollipop from the jar on the counter.

"Uh, no thanks." The kid huffed a laugh at his sweet tooth and Gabriel shrugged.

"More for me!"

"I'm Sam by the way." Gabriel watched as Sam looked around the small dorm, his hair swishing as he turned his head.

"Well Sam, it's nice to meet ya', I'm Gabriel, but I'm sure you've already heard of me." Gabriel tossed his hair and struck a pose with his nose in the air, making Sam laugh again. Gabriel grinned and mentally filed away the kind of humor Sam found funny.

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" Gabriel asked when Sam had recovered.

"I just wanted to apologise for being so loud, I didn't realize I had my music turned up so much." Sam looked sheepish, and Gabriel didn't normally like the shy types, but this kid was cute.

"Nah man, it's fine. Umm... I hope I didn't upset you... You know barging in on your... Uh. On you." Gabriel really didn't know what to do with the kid. He didn't want to come off as an insensitive douchebag but it wasn't really his place to try and comfort him either. But Gabriel was nothing if not curious. And blunt.

"What was that all about anyway?" He asked somewhat hesitantly, but genuinely curious. Sam sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He knew it would come up eventually, but he still wasn't looking forward to talking about it.

"Just my girlfriend broke up with me recently."

"That's rough, bud." Gabriel sympathised with the kid. He clearly liked her a lot.

"How long were you together?"

"About 2 years. I just, I thought we were gonna be together forever. I know it sounds cheesy... But I really thought she was the one..." Gabriel frowned. That was actually a significant time for a student romance. Most only lasted a couple months. Time seemed to pass faster here, and people changed their minds rapidly. And he couldn't help but wonder what Samsquatch here had done to get broken up with. He didn't strike him as a bad lad, or one to make a silly mistake like cheating.

As for Gabriel, he tended to steer clear of commitments. It was still just a tiny fraction of his life, he didn't really subscribe to all that soulmate junk, and even if there was the one somewhere out there for him, what was the likelihood he was gonna meet them any time soon? Not high, for sure. Gabriel had all his life ahead of him to find someone and settle down.

He could afford to party hard, have as many one night stands as possible, and just generally cause mischief. It was how he coped. What with his tremulous at best home life and absent father. It was better not to be tied down to anyone or anything for too long. He was always ready to escape, to flee, and if he was being honest with himself the idea that someone might want him to stay scared him a little. But he would never begrudge a less broken, optimistic person of their hope of finding the one.

"No, I get it. It's always difficult when people you really liked leave..." Gabriel realized what he said a moment too late. This Sam kid raised his brows at that and clearly had picked up on it and damnit this kid was too attentive. Gabriel did what he always did when things got too personal. He deflected.

"So are you new here? I haven't seen you around." Sam clearly registered the avoidance, but he seemed to decide to play along.

"Yeah, actually I just moved here from Kansas. I came for business academy."

"Oh?"

"Dad wasn't too keen on me coming, but I want to be a lawyer." Sam confessed. Gabriel wanted to ask why, but knew better than that. Too likely it would come back around to his personal life too, and that wasn't something he wished to discuss anymore than he had to.

"Neat! Have you seen much of the town yet?" Sam shook his head and Gabriel watched as his hair fanned out because of the motion. It really was pretty.

"No, haven't had much time between unpacking and schoolwork." Gabriel's eyes tracked over to his unfinished homework and Sam followed the look.

"Yeah, I feel ya. I could show you around if you wanted? I know a great coffee shop down the way, they sell the most fabulous pastries!" Sam chuckled at his enthusiasm.

"Maybe later. I still have homework to get done. And from the looks of it you do too..." The fucker smirked and looked smugly at the research paper of doom that was currently looming ominously over his head even as it sat innocently on his bed. Damn it.

"Yeah, yeah. How about Saturday? If you're free we could go explore the town a bit?" Sam smiled and Gabriel grinned back at the dimples that appeared.

"Sure! I'll see you on Saturday then!" Sam smiled and he was charming through and through. Sam picked up his bag and headed for the door.

"See you soon Samsquatch!" Gabriel called out as Sam closed the door behind him. As soon as the door closed Gabriel flopped back on to the bed with his arms out stretched. He had to give it to Sam, he was attractive. But he definitely didn't check out as anything on Gabriel's gaydar.

Plus he was a bit too innocent for Gabriel's taste. He was so hopelessly optimistic, not that there was anything wrong with that, but Gabriel was almost the exact opposite. He had been hurt and scorned and had relationships backfire on him too many times and it was just safer to avoid commitment rather than put his heart back out on the line.

Gabriel just couldn't see them ever working out. But Sam was a nice, smart guy who was new in town, and what kind of neighbor would he be if he didn't help him out? Gabriel liked him. He was clever and funny, he made a nice first impression. Then and there he decided to take the lost moose under his wing and teach him the ways of college life.

But he needed to be careful around him. Sam was clearly a very intelligent and observant person and he already had more information about his family life than most of Gabriel's friends. Though to be fair Gabriel had been the one to barge in on his personal life first... He still felt guilty and kind of embarrassed about that. But Gabriel just knew that Sam had the capability of burrowing his way into Gabriel's life all too easily, and Gabriel decided to watch him carefully, because he knew what happened when he got attached to people.


	2. Art Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Gabe have a pleasant day out on the town.

The next day he met up with Sam and they drove in Gabriel's car downtown. It was the art district, and it always had something interesting to look at. They got caught in traffic once there and Gabriel was impatient to show Sam around. He didn't know what was taking so long. Peering his head out the window he tried to see the start of the line, but to no avail.

"Come on, what's taking so long?" He whined. Sam glanced amusedly at him, but didn't comment. Spotting a banner hanging from a lamp post Sam pointed.

"I think they're having an art fair."

"Oh! I forgot that was this week! They always have a local art fair down here. I've never really gone before, but it could be fun." Gabriel looked to gauge Sam's reaction. Sam tried to appear nonchalant, but he had to admit it sounded pretty damn cool.

"It would be pretty neat to see some of the local culture." He said.

"To the art fair it is then!" Gabriel crowed triumphantly. He found a turn off and escaped from where they were redirecting traffic to find a parking space. Once out of the car Sam really had a chance to appreciate the older buildings around them.

They were tall and sturdy, with a sense of scale he never really got from skyscrapers. Many had intricate curls and stonework left over from their era.

"The architecture is amazing! I mean, just look at the engravings!" Sam said. Gabriel couldn't keep up with the stream of terms that Sam spat at him, but he smiled all the same. It was amusing to see how big of a nerd he really was, but Gabriel found the passion with which he explained the techniques even more entertaining.

His big eyes lit up and he smiled easily after he let his guard down. Once he realized Gabriel wasn't going to mock him he had really started to open up about how breathtaking he found everything. Growing up in a small town, Sam had never had the chance to see old buildings except in pictures in the library, and it was like reliving his childhood dreams of exploring the world to see them in person.

"Isn't that fascinating?" Sam turned his sparkling eyes back on Gabriel and brought him back to the present. Taking in Sam's tousled hair and slightly flushed cheeks Gabriel smiled.

"Yeah. It really is." Sam flushed red and smiled a tiny embarrassed smile. They rounded a corner and came upon a street full of rows of white canvas tents and crowds of people. The smell of street food wafted through the air and the trickling sound of laughter and conversation filled the street.

Colors from the artwork and the many people's outfits made for a bright scene of pleasant chaos. Sam and Gabriel waded their way along the street and stopped to look in all the various tents. Some had metal welded sculptures, some had stone, and others had elaborate marble track contraptions that spiraled in infinite loops.

There were paintings of animals, landscapes and fruit. Surreal paintings and paintings with meanings. Paintings the size of Sam's thumbnail. They stopped to ask questions of some of the artists and they were always so happy to share information about their pieces. There were so many different kinds of art and culture all coexisting peacefully and it was wonderful to see. Sam had interesting facts to share about everything, and Gabriel was eager to listen.

Gabriel's favorite piece was a metal sculpture of a raven with outstretched wings. He just loved how the artist had managed to capture the illusion of motion within his piece, how even though it was made of solid metal, you could almost squint and imagine that it was stretching its wings, powerful muscles tensing to take flight.

Sam's favorite was a painting of a male lion in mid yawn. It was a great rendering of the creature that managed to capture both the potential to harm, with the animal's massive teeth on full display, and the soft innocence of even the mightiest of beasts, with the tired feeling of the painting.

"You just like it because he has better hair than you." Gabriel teased with an eyebrow uplifted.

"You think my hair is a lions mane? I'm hurt! I put much more effort into my appearance than an animal!" Sam laughed. Gabriel grinned. Then he spotted something and darted off into the crowd. Sam sighed with a smile on his face before chasing after Gabriel bemusedly.

"Gabriel! Wait up!" He yelled. The smaller man was surprisingly nimble as he weaseled around people, leaving Sam to pick his way through the crowd, mumbling apologies at the amused glances that were shot his way. When he finally got to the tent Gabriel was already deep in conversation with a woman there.

"Please don't go running off like that again, Gabe!" Sam begged.

"Face painting, Sammy!" Was all he got in reply. Chuckling, Sam turned to the woman in charge of the stand. She was watching them with amusement and Sam reddened a little bit at her raised eyebrow. Gabe returned to scanning a page of options on the counter in front of him.

"I want that one." Gabe decided as he pointed to one of the options on the page.

"Alright, Kate will take care of ya'." The woman beckoned at a blonde woman in the back of the tent.

"You should get one too!" Gabe said, rounding on Sam.

"No, I'm fine." Sam chuckled.

"Come on, Sammoose, it'll be fun! Live a little!" Gabe swung an arm around Sam's shoulders and Sam sighed. Why did he ever let himself get talked into these kinds of things? Smiling, he relented.

"Fine. But only one! And nothing big." Gabe cheered and fist pumped before getting led off by Kate to the back of the tent. Sam picked out his face painting and sat in the small fold out chair provided. Once his was done, he waited outside for Gabe. Gabe came bouncing out of the tent and stopped in front of Sam with a goofy grin on his face.

"A butterfly? I never knew you were such a softie, Sammich!" Gabe said, clearly delighted. Sam had chosen a small blue morpho butterfly on his left cheek. Sam's eyes crinkled as he laughed.

"Really? You're the one who has a tiger painted on his face!" Orange and black stripes decorated Gabe's face, along with white whiskers.

"What can I say? I am a sexy beast!" Laughing, they made their way around the fair. They bought a funnel cake to share and ended up in the fountain gardens. Pulling off pieces of the fresh baked treat they held the flimsy paper plate between them, an easy banter flowing back and forth.

Sam couldn't help but notice the powdered sugar that got on Gabe's face. The little white flecks had even somehow managed to get into his lashes. Sam chuckled. Eventually they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Warm and satisfied from their food and a pleasant day.

The sounds of the fountains trickling around them and the warmth of the day wove into a cozy backdrop. Sitting in the shade of an old tree, the atmosphere and gentle buzzing of the gardens lulled them into a calm peacefulness. They fell asleep, dozing underneath an oak tree, pressed up against each other. Gabe's head on Sam's shoulder and Sam resting his head on Gabe's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt like writing some fluff for a break from all the heavy Sabriel fics for a little while!


	3. Soda Pop

Sam awoke to a sleeping Gabriel sprawled across his lap. They were sitting beneath a tree and he was slumped against the trunk, but apparently Gabe flopped when he slept. Looking down at Gabe's disheveled hair and peaceful expression, Sam couldn't help the soft smile that crept onto his features.

In the golden light filtering down between the leaves Gabe's hair shimmered as he shifted in his sleep. And Sam felt himself thinking that Gabe seemed somehow right here. Like he belonged in a warm day in shafts of amber light surrounded by green blades of grass and leaves. He seemed almost whimsical, like the fae of legends.

A beauty and wit that draws you in but with unfathomable depths to drown you. Sam thought that maybe he wouldn't mind drowning. Geez, Dean would kill him if he could hear his thoughts, he barely even knew this guy! It was a good thing Dean wasn't here then. Then Gabe stirred and opened his eyes.

He looked up at Sam with his piercing amber eyes and Sam was falling. He felt violated. Like Gabe could see into his soul. He wanted to run and hide behind walls and deflect. And at the very same time he was struck by the urge to fall into the abyss that was Gabriel, and damn the consequences.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Sam says.

"Hello. And I guess that makes you my Prince Charming." Gabe smirks. Sam laughs. Inside he's still reeling. It's like he's been slapped, and fuck but Gabe isn't helping. Gabe slips off of his lap and stands up, offering a hand. Sam tries very hard not to acknowledge the indefinable feeling of loss at the movement. Sam takes Gabe's hand and lets himself be dragged to his feet.

"How long were we asleep?" Gabe asks.

"About an hour." Sam says, checking his phone. It's not as warm as it was during the heat of the day, and by now the fair has started to wind down. They rejoin the people on the path and make their way back to the car.

Conversation is quiet and bumbling, both of them still lazy and loose from their nap. As they walk they fit close together like they are still sitting next to each other, unconsciously bumping into each other just to feel the others presence.

In the car Sam watched the buildings go by and darted little glances at Gabe when he thought he wasn't looking. When they reached their dorm rooms they pause in the hallway.

"I had a great time Gabe. Maybe we can hang out later sometime?" Sam questioned.

"What'd I tell ya', I knew you'd enjoy downtown! Are you free tomorrow?" Gabe smirked.

"I've got no plans. How about I show you around?"

"You can show me anything you want." Gabe purred, wiggling his eyebrows. Sam laughed.

"Shut it, you. Just be ready at 6. We can take my car." Sam said with an exasperated smile on his face. Gabe raised his eyebrows but conceded.

"I don't normally get out of bed until 10 but I'll make an exception for you, Sammich." Sam laughed and his dimples appeared. Fuck. Gabe was fucked.

"See you later, alligator!" Gabe waved to Sam. Sam rolled his eyes.

"In a while, crocodile." Then they both stepped into their rooms and closed the doors. Gabe leaned back against his door and let his head bonk into it. A stupid grin still stuck to his face. It really had been an amazing day.

\------------------

Sam closed his door behind him and just stood there for a long moment. He was screwed. Scenes of him and Gabe wandering around downtown kept replaying in his head like some cheesy romcom. Flashes of Gabe's hair, Gabe's smile, Gabe's laugh all stained an amber color in his mind.

And when had he started calling him Gabe?! He was already in too deep and he had only known the guy for barely a day! There was something so intoxicating about Gabe. It drew him out and dared him to get closer. If his family saw him acting like this they would think he had gone mad.

But Gabe brought out the playful, flirty side of him that he rarely indulged in. It was the weakness and softness that he had been taught to hold in or else others would take advantage of it. And here Gabriel was just bypassing years of "Don't be a girl, Sam." "Feelings are a weakness, Sam."

And it was wonderful. It felt like freedom, and light, and warm golden kisses in the middle of the night. Gabe was witty, smart, and funny. He was a jokester and a trickster, and flirted with pretty much everything. But there was a depth in his eyes that Sam hadn't seen in many others.

It was the look of a survivor. Of past hurt and insecurity. Sam knew what it was to hide behind humor and bury your feelings. It was practically a Winchester family tradition. But he also knew that it wasn't healthy. He had always been the one to try and look for help. He knew healing didn't occur unless you confronted the problem.

He knew eventually you had to face your fears, even if you didn't want to, because if you didn't they would devour you. He's seen good men be devoured by their fears too many times. But when Sam sees the darkness hidden in all that gold, instead of being afraid, he feels the urge to draw it out.

Sam doesn't know what's lurking in Gabriel's past, but he wants to confront it with him. He wants to help and he doesn't even know why. Goddamnit, he wants to help this tiny, absurd, golden fairy man so very badly it's ridiculous. Shit. He has a crush.


	4. Spotted Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam shows Gabe a little part of his world.

Gabe has no recollection of getting in the car. It's still too damn early in his book to even be awake, much less letting a ridiculously energetic moose of a man drag him across town to God knows where.

He vaguely remembers the stop for coffee, just conscious enough to snatch the cup of life giving energy away from Sam and then guard it jealously. He takes a sip of it now. It's too bitter for his tastes, if he had ordered he would have requested much more sugar and creamer, but he'll take what he can get.

Sam glances over at Gabe curled up in the passenger seat and smirks at the ball of grumpiness that is a Gabriel woken too early. Gabe flips him off. Sam laughs at that, and returns his attention to the road. He's all too cheerful and bright, a morning person through and through.

Then Sam turns off the main road and parks the car. Gabe peers out the window to try and determine their location. Lines of trees are all that he can see for long stretches down the road.

"You're not secretly a murderer are you now?" Gabe jokes.

"No. I just wanted to show you something."

"Well, you wouldn't stand a chance against me anyways." Gabe deadpans. Sam laughs.

"I'm warning you, I know Kung Fu!" A tired smile graces Gabe's lips as he follows Sam down a well worn path. They walk for a ways until Sam stops and points out a small game trail branching off from the path. Sam leads the way, and Gabe follows.

Gabe gasps as he steps out into a small clearing. Little white flowers poke up from the ground all around. A stone and a pool of water also rest near the center of the clearing. It's small and quaint, but Gabe can't help but feel there is an undisturbed tranquility to the place.

Like somewhere long untouched by humanity. Gabe stops and spins slowly, looking up at the huge trees, and down at the smallest ant. Taking it all in. He turns and looks at Sam, seated on the smooth stone. Sam watches him with poorly concealed nervousness.

"What is this place?" He finally asks.

"Just a place I found a little while ago. I come here when I'm feeling stressed or I just need to unwind." Sam doesn't make eye contact with Gabriel as he says this. The sun hasn't yet risen and there is a chill in the air.

Gabe sits next to Sam on the stone. The cold of it seeps through the material of his jeans and leaves Gabe shivering, but Sam leans into him slightly and Gabe presses closer to his warmth. After several minutes pass Gabe starts to fidget. He's never been too patient, but he doesn't even know what they're supposed to be waiting for.

"Wha-"

"Shush." Sam says. Gabe side eyes him, but stays quiet. They watch as the sun climbs higher in the sky until it breaks the horizon. Red orange light shimmers through the trees and birds begin to sing. A melody of many different interwoven songs.

As they sit quietly, unobtrusively, birds begin to flit around them and above them without a care in the world. There is a blue bird with a crest that puffs itself out importantly and struts around, picking fights with all the other birds. Gabe finds himself laughing silently, a little huff of glee at witnessing these wild things behave so childishly.

Gabe had grown up in the big city his whole life and had never really gotten to see nature this up close and personal. Even at the zoo the creatures were always tired, domesticated. Never had he seen the brightness and sheer joy of simply being alive that these colorful creatures had.

It began to warm in the clearing as the sun rose ever higher in the sky. Hazy white light filtering down through the morning mist, landing on Sam's face and illuminating his fascinating eyes. Gabe hadn't been able to place what Sam's eye color was previously, but in that moment, it took Gabe's breath away.

Originally he had thought they were just brown, but there were so many more colors hidden right beneath the surface.They were green with a tint of gold where the sun struck them, and they gradually faded into a blue that was dark and light all at once.

All of this was ringed with a darker band of color and just then did Gabe realize that Sam was looking right at him. Looking right at him with total adoration. Gabe, caught off guard, turned his head away. He couldn't have been the one to cause that look, could he? What had he possibly done to deserve that?!

Sam sighed and shifted next to Gabe. Gabe looked into the pool of water at their feet. There were tadpoles wriggling around in the clear water. Gabe wiggled his fingers in the water to watch them scatter, dark shapes fleeing into the shelter of the reeds. He felt Sam's eyes on him and looked out at the clearing.

Then Gabe saw movement on the edge of the clearing. Gabe's hand shot back to grip Sam's arm: A warning, a stay still, a subconscious stay behind me perhaps. But he wasn't going to analyze the motion right then. Sam froze, and both of them seemed frozen in time as they searched the barrier of trees for what had moved.

Just as quickly time unpaused and a deer poked her nose into the clearing. Now it was Gabe's turn to go stock still. The deer stepped out into the clearing and paused, staring directly at them. No one moved, Gabe wasn't sure anyone even breathed.

She was so delicate, he thought she might break just from taking a step, like fine china. Her ears were large and splayed out around her too small head, and he found himself struggling to believe that these animals lived in the woods, all alone. Finally, they seemed to have passed whatever the deer's test had been, and her tail flicked, showing a flash of white.

Something small moved out of the underbrush and Gabe took a tiny sharp intake of breath. He looked at the two miniature fawns standing next to their mother. Their tiny spotted flanks quivered lightly but they walked with confidence. And he had thought that the mother deer before had seemed fragile!

The mom led her twins down to the pool's edge and arched her neck to drink. One of the babies seemed utterly uninterested by the water, as it looked at everything around the clearing. The other leaned down and sniffed at the water, watching its mother it gave the water a lick, then recoiled with a disgruntled look.

A surprised chuckle burbled up out of Sam and Gabe turned to look at him as the deer did the same. Sam's dimples were out in full force, and his eyes were twinkling bright with laughter. Gabe is stunned for a moment and he feels very much like a deer in the headlights.

Shaking himself loose of Sam's radiance, he turns back to the deer. Gabe watches as the mother flicks her tail once, then bounds away, as quickly as she came. The fawns are tiny shadows behind her as she departs. There is silence in the clearing.

Gabe stands, startling another ripple of tadpoles, and spins suddenly, laughing. Sam is grinning at Gabe, a childish look of pure surprised delight that Gabe could really stand to see more of.

"That was wonderful!" Gabriel shouts into the wind.

"I had hoped you would like it." Sam says quietly.

"Liked it? I loved it! That was amazing!"

You're amazing! Gabe wants to shout. Sam's smile softens and brightens somehow at the same time. He looks like he can see into Gabe's head and pluck all the thoughts from his mind.

"I've never seen anything like that!"

I've never seen anyone like you, he wants to add.

He wants to scream it to the world, look how perfect and wonderful this man is!

Look at his smile and his eyes!

How could you ever stand to make this beautiful man sad?! he wants to beg the universe.

And at the same time he wants to wrap Sam up in his arms and never share him with the world. Sam doesn't deserve all the awfulness in this world, and the world sure as hell doesn't deserve Sam Winchester.

But what makes you think you deserve him, then?

Gabe shakes his head, reminding himself that Sam isn't his. Isn't his to tell these thoughts to, isn't his to wrap up in his arms. Tries to ignore the sharp stab of hurt that that thought causes. He turns and he follows Sam out of the forest. Pasting on a smile he returns to his jokester persona.


	5. Blue And Amber

The week seems to pass excruciatingly slowly. Gabe goes to his classes and tries his very best to be studious but he just can't seem to get Sam Winchester out of his head. Sure, Sam is attractive, you'd have to be blind not to see that, but Gabe feels like this runs deeper.

It doesn't really feel like any of the crushes he's had before, and he's never felt so damn **nervous** just being around anyone as he does with Sam. He really wants Sam to like him, and he knows that Sam does, just not in the way that he wants. Gabe huffs and picks up his phone.

Scrolling through his contacts, his finger hovers over the one entitled Samsquatch. Sam had given him his number on Sunday but neither of them had texted since. Gabe shakes himself, there's nothing to be nervous about.

_G: meet me for lunch?_

Gabe sent the message and tried to focus on the teacher.

_S: You know you really shouldn't be texting in class. Where at?_

Gabe got the reply and a little ding alerted the whole room. All of the other students turned to look at him. The teacher glared. Several of the students stifled laughter, while others looked sympathetic. Gabriel grinned unapologetically at the teacher.

"Mr. Miller, would you like to share with the class?"

"Not particularly, Ms. Manx." He replied cheekily. She scowled at his flippant behavior and some students in the back snickered.

"Mr. Miller, your phone, now." Gabe smiled and jauntily made his way up to the front of the classroom to put it on her desk.

"As you wish, m'lady." He said with a mock bow. He didn't normally tempt fate quite so much, but he just couldn't help it today.

"Something's got you in a pleasant mood, hasn't it? It wouldn't have anything to do with whoever you were texting, now would it?" She narrowed her eyes at him, thinking she had him pinned.

"Oh yes, entirely!" He declared. Ms. Manx furrowed her brow in confusion.

"I have a date with a very pretty boy!" Gabe pretended to swoon, and Ms. Manx sputtered in shock. The entire class was laughing suddenly at the look on The Manx's face, and Gabe trotted back to his seat feeling victorious.

\----------

The bell rang finally and Sam filed out of class with the other restless students. Sam felt his phone vibrate and pulled it out.

_G: sorry, got my phone taken away_  
_G: meet me outside?_

Sam's lips curled and he tapped out a reply, sending it before starting to walk to the nearest exit.

_S: I told you so! Be there in 5_

Sam navigated through the halls, trying to remember which turn he should take. The campus was huge, and he still hadn't quite memorized all of the routes yet. Crossing through the courtyard he found himself in an unfamiliar section.

Stopping, he looked around to see if he recognized any of the exits. Other students passed him by but they all looked like they knew where they were going. Sam decided to retrace his steps and turned to return the way he came when he bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry! Didn't see you there!" Sam apologized. A shorter kid with wispy blond hair and piercing blue green eyes who looked a tad older than himself stood there.

"No problem at all. Were you lost?" The boy smirked at him.

"Yeah, actually, how'd you know?"

"Just a hunch, not like you were acting like a tourist or anything." His words dripped sarcasm. Sam laughed embarrassedly.

"That obvious, huh?"  
"Kinda, yeah. I'm Luke. Where are you going?"

"Sam. I was just trying to find the front entrance."

"Come on." The boy grabbed his arm and started leading him through the halls, faster than he could walk causing Sam to stumble a bit.

"Hey! Slow down!" He tried to yell to Luke, but in vain. Finally Luke, who was surprisingly quick on his feet, slowed and let Sam catch his breath.

"There's the exit. You're welcome." Luke seemed a little presumptuous.

"Uh, thanks I guess." Sam nodded and tried to make his escape. Luke clasped Sam's shoulder and continued to walk along beside him as Sam exited the building. Sam looked uncertainly at Luke. Luke smiled disarmingly, but his eyes glinted with arrogance.

"Uh, thanks man, but I gotta get going now." Sam shrugged off Luke's hand and walked quickly away. Luke narrowed his eyes at Sam's receding back. Sam found a spot hidden from prying eyes behind a copse of trees and texted Gabe.

_S: Got lost, meet me at the cafe?_  
_G: sure thing sammy!_

Sam met up with Gabe at the local cafe and tried to brush off the unsettling encounter with cheap coffee and entertaining company. Gabe had some really great suggestions from the dessert list and even better stories of pranks he had pulled.

After a while Sam forgot all about his run in with Luke. An hour seemed to pass so quickly when he was embroiled in conversation with Gabe, and before he knew it they had to return to school.

Walking back they traded riddles, and Sam found it to be one of the best interactions he had had all day. Saying their goodbyes at the front of the school, they parted with little smiles only for each other.

Little did they know that both their minds were taken up with thoughts of the other for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who decided to show up? Lucifer! Wonder what he's up to... 
> 
> (I called him Luke in this fic because really? Who names their child Lucifer?)


	6. Honey Golden

G: u any good at communication applications class?  
S: Maybe. Why?  
G: im gonna be completely honest, i really need help with this assignment  
S: What's in it for me?  
G: i'll order pizza?  
S: Be right there.

Gabe laughed as he opened the door.  
"Hey Sammy. Fancy seein' you here!" Sam grinned.

"Gabe! What a pleasant surprise!" Sam ducked into the dorm room and plopped himself down on the couch.

"So what are we up against?"

"I'm supposed to be writing a three page essay on the proper communication techniques, we watched a video on it like 2 weeks ago." Gabe grimaced. Sam laughed.

"Dude, you know you're basically supposed to just bullshit those, right?"

"What? Sam Winchester telling me to fake an academic paper? What is the world coming to?!" Gabe clapped his hand to his heart and swayed dramatically.

"I'm serious! The teachers only do those to see if you can use proper grammar and stuff. They don't have any real rubric on what you actually write."

"Really? Why didn't anybody inform me? I've been writing papers wrong my whole life!"

"Yeah, let me show you." Sam gestured to Gabe's laptop. Gabe handed it to him and went to stand behind the couch to see what he was writing. Sam began typing out a quick paragraph, that once Gabe read it, actually sounded really professional. Gabe laid his head on his arms along the back of the couch and watched as Sam worked.

"See? You take a simple point that could probably be stated in one sentence, then you spread it out and really overanalyze it, remember to use big words and bang, instant essay!" Gabe gaped.

"You are a genius!" He grinned from ear to ear.

"I'm really not, I just know how to exploit the system..." Sam mumbled, but Gabe could see his tiny pleased smile and how the tips of his ears flushed red.

"I'm ordering you that pizza now! What do you want on it?" Sam seemed to be evaluating Gabe for a moment.

"I like Hawaiian pizza." Sam finally said, stubbornly avoiding eye contact. Gabe snickered at that.

"One pineapple abomination pizza coming up!" He declared as he grabbed up his phone. Once the order was placed Gabe typed out his rough draft and it went surprisingly fast.

He had just needed to stop over thinking the question really, and then the words just kept coming. It even looked like he knew what he was talking about near the end! Then the pizza delivery guy was there.

"Pizzaaa!" Gabe practically shouted.

"Pizza." The delivery guy was much less enthusiastic. Gabe paid for the pizza.

"For having to willfully participate in the delivery of this immoral misdeed." Gabe said as he tipped the man. The man looked nonplussed, but he took the money and departed. Sam rolled his eyes at Gabe's dramatics but a barely visible grin graced his lips as Gabe came back to the couch.

"Dinner is served!" Gabe set the pizza box on the coffee table with a flourish. He tossed a paper plate like a frisbee at Sam and Sam caught it.

"Was that really necessary?" Sam asked even as he chuckled.

"Was it necessary?! Of course it was! How dare you insult me in my household after I so graciously made you dinner!" Gabe said with mock outrage. Sam grabbed a slice of pizza and took a bite.

"Well, my compliments to the chef then." Sam smirked.

"Damn straight. I slaved over this meal for hours, young man." Sam stifled a laugh and Gabe grabbed for a slice. They lapsed into silence as they both chowed down on their food.

Sam didn't usually eat junk food, but it didn't mean he couldn't appreciate a pizza now and then. Plus, you never turn down free food, especially if you're a student. But Sam had to admit to himself that he came a little quicker than he might have to help out any of his other friends.

He tried to tell himself that it was just because Gabe's room was closer, but deep down he knew it was something about Gabe. Several minutes later, there was only one piece of pizza left and they played rock paper scissors for it.

Gabe won, but they ended up splitting it anyway. Afterwards Gabe suggested they play Mario Kart.

"Don't you have an essay to write?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I've got my rough draft down, it'll be smooth sailing from here!" Gabe argued. Sam gave a long suffering sigh.

"I _suppose_  I could play Mario Kart with you." Gabe grinned and bounced over to turn on the Wii. Once it was all set up they sat down and started the game. Gabe won. And he won the next round. And the next. Sam was starting to get fed up.

"How do you keep winning?!" Sam finally asked, exasperated.

"You're putting too much thought into it Sam! You need to stop strategizing so much and learn to just _roll_ with it."

"I swear to fucking God if that was a pun." Gabe just grinned impishly as he threw a shell at Sam's character. Sam groaned as he got knocked off the road _again_. Eventually they retired from the game and started up a movie.

They tossed jokes back and forth and generally had a great time mocking the actors. Sam especially enjoyed debating the plot holes with Gabe. The next time Sam looked up it was dark out.

"Wow! Time flies! I'll see you later, Gabe!"

"Rightio, Samantha!" Sam chuckled and patted Gabe on the shoulder before leaving.

Over the course of the next few weeks you could find them more and more in each other's rooms, hanging out or even just fixing a snack. And it wasn't uncommon for one or the other to wake up in the other's dorm in the mornings.

They didn't even notice how some clothes of both of theirs seemed to appear in each dorm for when they awoke there. Slowly, their lives tangled together, until neither of them could imagine how they had possibly managed without the other.

Their morning routines changed to fit each other's too. Sam brought coffee to Gabe in the mornings when Gabe was still too groggy to do anything. Once Gabe was awake he made toast, strawberry jam for himself and peanut butter for Sam.

On weekends Gabe would make pancakes for breakfast. But on school days Sam would inevitably lose his project or his bag, Gabe would find it, and then they would hustle out the door to their classes.

In the evenings Gabe often laid out their clothes and any other things they might need in the morning, while Sam cooked or ordered dinner. They would do homework over dinner, and watch TV afterwards.

Gabe's grades improved, and the look of shock on Ms. Manx's face when he first made an A was entirely worth the extra effort in Gabe's book. Sam slowly got over his break up, and they both settled into a comfortable routine. Though in their lives it was never boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my boys so much, they're sickeningly cute!


	7. Starry Night

As easy as it was to slip into each other's lives, Sam felt like they had been dancing around each other lately. There was an undercurrent of something undefined in all of their interactions.

A tension seemed to have drawn itself around all of their easy conversations and Sam wasn't happy with it. The last few weeks had been some of the happiest he'd ever had, and he didn't want anything to ruin that for them. So he resolved to talk with Gabe about it. He got his chance when they were sitting on the couch after a long day.

"Hey, Gabe?"

"Yeah?" Gabe looked at Sam curiously. Sam hesitated for a second but he knew he would never ask if he didn't right now.

"What are we?" Gabe tensed. He looked at Sam quickly and then a smile snapped on to his face. It didn't look real.

"I would tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." Gabe quipped. Sam's brow furrowed.

"Gabe, I'm serious." Gabe sighed and let his smile drop.

"You're my best friend of course." Gabe says sincerely, a wry smile that Sam can't see twisting his lips. Gabe doesn't see the way Sam looks away, disappointed.

"Yeah, you're my best friend too... of course." Sam says. They sit next to each other exactly as they had before, but now it feels like they're miles apart. A silence settles over them and it is decidedly uncomfortable.

Sam eventually excuses himself to go to bed early, he has an exam and all tomorrow, he needs his sleep. It's not at all that he can't stand to be near Gabe right then. Gabe wishes him goodnight but his voice sounds flat, hollowed out.

The next morning very little is said as they get ready. Sam doesn't think he can handle trying to carry on a conversation with Gabe right now. He slips out of the room with a subdued

"See you later." As he walks away from the space they had come to share he feels like he is 13 again on that night he ran away from his home and his family. He feels lost and like he is charging off into the dark again. But just like before he doesn't look back.

The school day passes by in a grey blur, it goes so slowly but he can't recall anything at all, nothing seems to stick in his mind except for Gabe's words. Later he meets up with Charlie for lunch. She's talking but he can't focus on her words. He's all caught up in his head.

_You're my best friend-best friend-best friend._

Gabe's voice echoes maddeningly. They aren't bad words, in fact he thinks they're rather sweet in meaning. And he meant what he said. Gabe is his best friend. And he's so happy to even have that.

But it's the absence of something in that phrase that's slowly killing him. He had thought that maybe they could be something, or at least that was how he had interpreted all of their outings and their late night conversations and the way Gabe just felt so right curled up next to him.

Sam's heart aches at the thought of what would never be. He tries to shove all of his bitterness and sadness into the emptiness that burns in his chest but he knows that won't fill it.

"-and then the Doctor had to- Are you even listening to me?" Charlie snapped him back to reality. Charlie had been talking about some TV show of hers, he hadn't been listening.

"Sorry, Charlie. I'm just a bit out of it today." Charlie stopped and looked at him.

"What, you and Gabriel had a lover's tiff?" Charlie teases. Sam winces. It feels like poking at a raw wound when he realizes how much he wishes those words were true. Charlie's smile is quickly replaced by concern as she sees Sam flinch.

"Hey, I'm sorry. What happened?" Charlie is suddenly in supportive friend mode and Sam wants nothing but to run away from all of her care and comfort even as he feels guilty for the thought.

"Nothing. Nothing I can't deal with." Charlie looks doubtful but she knows him well enough to leave it alone for now.

"Alright, but if you at any point need someone to talk to, you know I'm always here." Charlie gives him a hug and Sam smiles.

"Thanks, Charlie."

"No problem. Oh, I heard there's a party going on down at Ridgeview tonight! We could go if you want?" Sam knows she's just trying to cheer him up but he doesn't usually go to many parties. They've always seemed too loud and too suffocating to him.

Not to mention that everyone at parties always drinks too much like they're trying to forget. But Sam doesn't think he can face Gabe again this afternoon, and he thinks that maybe forgetting for a little while might not be too bad.

So like the coward he is he turns to Charlie's hopeful face and says

"I'd like that." Charlie lights up and Sam can almost pretend he made the right choice under her pleased approval.

That evening Sam returns to Gabe's empty dorm room. Gabe is still at work and won't be back for an hour. Sam tries to clean himself up a little before going out, but he can't be bothered to.

He realizes he doesn't really care what anyone at the party thinks of him, he's just avoiding Gabe. Sighing, Sam decides to just wear the same clothes he already has on and goes to the kitchen. He leaves a note for Gabe on the fridge and heads out.

When Sam arrives at the party he is met with a huge house that emanates light and sound. He can hear music blasting from the backyard and the sounds of laughter and chatter. There are cars parked all up and down the street and groups of people heading inside.

Normally he would be more nervous about attending a party where he knows almost no one but he finds that he just doesn't care anymore. Striding up to the door he knocks and a drunk looking kid with a girl hanging off his neck lets him in.

Nobody questions the stranger entering the party. Nobody seems to care. There's a big dance floor with strobe lights and some forgettable dance music turned up way too loud, and a crowd of people grinding to it. All of the couches and chairs are already taken and clumps of people are everywhere, already looking significantly more buzzed than Sam would expect this early on.

He thinks that maybe this will all look less stupid after he's ingested more alcohol into his system. Sam weaves through the crowd and finds a cooler with some jocks clustered around it. Grabbing a beer, he finds a secluded corner and starts to drink.

After his third or fourth beer he's starting to feel pleasantly buzzed, and the house suddenly seems too hot and too claustrophobic. Sam pushes off the wall and manages to make his way outside where there is a pool and more people swimming and generally making fools of themselves.

The cool night air helps to clear Sam's head a little, and he finds that his hearing is somewhat dulled from the loud music inside. He plops himself down on a fairly deserted side of the pool and kicks his shoes off. Dipping his feet into the cool water he leans back and sighs, looking up at the stars.

He hasn't seen Charlie anywhere at the party yet, but the house is ridiculously large and very crowded. Sam doesn't doubt that he could have missed her. He feels out of place at the party, and he finds himself wishing more than anything that he was just at home relaxing with Gabe. But he knows that he can't.

Gabe doesn't want him there, and where else can he go? He cut all ties with his family when he left, and he has no idea how they might receive him now. Sam hadn't realized how very entangled he had become with Gabe until this moment. He really didn't have anybody else.

And Sam hadn't even really noticed before now, he didn't really want or care too terribly about anyone else either. Sure, he had Kevin and he had Charlie, but he had been spending so much time with Gabe that he really wasn't all that close to them.

Sam felt like a horrible friend, and on top of the knowledge that the one person he had cared about didn't want him, well. He had a few more drinks. Maybe more than a few.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't going so well for our boys! :(
> 
> I changed up the timeline for Sam running away in this universe, but I don't think we have a definitive age for when he did anyway.


	8. Fade to Black

Gabe finally got off his shift at BurgerHut. He didn't really enjoy working there, the customers were too rude and the food was too disgusting, but a job was a job. He pulled his phone out to text Sam before starting the car.

G: off work finally. otw home

"Sammy, I'm back." He announced his presence as he walked into his dorm. Gabe looked around at the uncharacteristic silence that greeted him. His brow furrowed and he walked more into the room.

"Sam? You here?" He called out again. When no one responded again he began to look around. It was entirely possible that Sam was in his own dorm room but he still felt uneasy about the whole thing. Normally Sam would have texted him to tell him where he was.

Then Gabe spotted a piece of paper taped to the fridge. It read "At a party with Charlie, be back in an hour or so. - Sam" Gabe crumpled the letter into a tiny ball and tried to pretend that he wasn't bitterly disappointed that he couldn't see Sam.

Of course Sam was pulling away, Gabe had been an asshole. Sighing, Gabe flopped down on the couch and mentally berated himself. Sam had probably noticed Gabe's insistent attempts at flirting and been freaked out by them. So then he had to go and try and confirm what they were to each other.

Gabe pulled his knees up to his chest and fought against the tightness of his throat. He wasn't going to cry. Gabe had said they were best friends. It was true, that was all they were. He needed to get over it. No matter how much he wished they were more than that, he knew they never would be.

Sam was all put together, he was a good person, and he was always so friendly and kind. Gabe didn't make friends easily. He could joke and entertain until the ends of the universe, and everybody always loved him, but he rarely connected with anyone. Because everyone fell in love with his confident, flirty attitude, but it wasn't him.

It was just a mask, a defense born from years of abuse. And then Sam came along and swept him right off his feet without even trying. Sam was cute, caring, brave and complex. Gabe had fallen in love instantly. It was strange to say love, even in his head, but it had never felt so right. He had never let himself say it before but it was true.

He was in love with Sam Winchester. He was afraid of him too, afraid of how easily he might be able to rip away that mask, afraid of what he might see behind it, afraid that Sam would leave just like all the others. Who could love the real him? He had been living with a mask for so long that he wasn't sure how people would react if he showed them his true self, and so he didn't.

He remembered the first few times he had thought a relationship would last and he had tried to be more genuine, they had all ended catastrophically. So now he had pushed Sam away. Gabe reached a hand up to his face and he realized he was weeping.

An hour passed and Sam still hadn't returned. He was worried about Sam, this whole thing was off somehow. Normally Sam would have texted him, but now Gabe wasn't sure. He felt like a clingy ex as he sat at home worrying about Sam out having fun at a party.

 _They're probably better company than me anyway._ he thought, trying to shake off the feeling of unease.

\-------------

Sam looked up as a familiar person walked over and sat down beside him. It took him a minute to place his name.

"Luke, right?" The man nodded.

"Yep. You looked like you could use some company." Sam shrugged.

"I'm fine on my own. Just here for the free booze anyway." Sam gestured with his beer bottle and took another sip. Luke laughed at Sam's weak excuse of a joke.

"So what brings a pretty boy like you here tonight?" Sam shifted nervously. Now he understood what all the girls meant about guys trying to flirt making them uncomfortable. This guy was gross. Sam smiled weakly and tried to ignore the blatant come on.

"Needed to get out of the house for a little while." Sam says.

"Well, you could come to mine." Luke wiggled his eyebrows at Sam. He seemed to think he was hot stuff.

"Uh, no thanks buddy." Sam went to stand up and Luke reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"You don't know what you're missing out on, bitch." Sam yanked his wrist away, he was fed up with this guy.

"Learn to take a hint, I said I'm not interested." Sam growled. He really hated this dude. Sam grabbed his beer and started to walk away.

"Don't play so hard to get, baby. I could make you feel so good." Luke keeps insisting and he tries to grab Sam again.

"Fuck. Off." Sam turns and punches Luke in the nose, propelling him backwards into the pool with a huge splash. Everyone outside is suddenly laughing and screaming and some are trying to egg on the fight. Sam always hated how fickle his fellow students were.

Sam turns and marches back inside without a second look. He's boiling over with rage and adrenaline, but all he really wants to do is get out of here. Downing the rest of his beer, he storms towards the exit. Sam thinks he spots Charlie's bright red hair in the crowd, but he doesn't go over to her.

She seems to be having a great time all on her own, and Sam doesn't think she deserves to deal with his unstable ass at the moment. He shoulders his way through the crowd, and swings open the door, slamming it behind him. He staggers down the path to his car and leans against it.

 _Man, I must be really drunk._  Sam feels off balance and more than a little tipsy. He's really not in any condition to drive right now, so he pulls out his phone to call Gabe. Gabe picks up fairly quickly.

"Hey Gabe, I'm at a party, did ya' see my note? Anyways, I'm a little drunk and I really shouldn't be driving and maybe you could come pick me up?" Sam's speech is a little slurred and a lot more rambling than usual. His words seem to trip over themselves on their way from his brain to his mouth.

"Yeah, sure Sam. I'll be right there. Where are you?" Gabe's voice rings with barely concealed concern even over the phone and Sam feels the need to comfort him.

"Hey, 'm okay, you're okay, we're all okay, right? Uh, I think I'm at- Uff!" A loud grunt escapes Sam as he is suddenly barreled into from behind. He drops his phone at the attack and turns to face his attacker, only to stagger off balance. When his eyes refocus he can make out the shape of Luke, standing menacingly even as he drips water all over the sidewalk. He looks furious.

"You shouldn't have done that." Luke says grimly. A trickle of fear cuts through Sam at the look in his eye, and Sam hates his smug little face more than anything in this moment. Luke makes to take a step forward, but Sam is on the offensive. Sam swings a punch aiming for his gut.

And his arm flies through the air without making any impact at all. Luke is still standing there and he chuckles darkly at Sam's ineffecttual attack. Sam doesn't know how he could have missed.

"How are you feeling, Sammy? Any nausea or unsteadiness? If I recall your vision should be blurring right about now." Dread coils in Sam's gut as his vision starts to go fuzzy. A horrified expression appears on Sam's face with his dawning comprehension.

"What... What did you put in my drink?" Sam's voice escapes as little more than a whisper.

"Oh, just a little something of my own invention. Quite ingenious if I do say so myself." Luke's evil grin is just barely visible in the lamplight before he darts forward and twists Sam's arm around behind his back. Sam tries to shake him off but his body betrays him, his legs unsteady beneath him.

Sam stumbles and scrabbles at Luke's arm as it wraps itself around his neck. He manages to elbow Luke in the stomach hard, knocking the wind out of him. Sam feels Luke's arm loosen and he slips out of his hold, brushing off Luke's clinging hands. Sam runs.

With a desperation born of terror, he sprints towards the house. His foot slips on a patch of wet grass and he nearly falls, but he recovers and tries to ignore the twinge in his leg of a pulled muscle. Sam just needs to get back into the sightlines of other people and he'll be safe.

He just needs to make it a little further, but he never finishes the thought as Luke slams into him from behind. Sam's wind is knocked out of him as Luke lands on top of him and he tries unsuccessfully to bring air back into his clenching lungs.

Sam struggles to dislodge Luke but he has him pinned. Luke leans down to whisper in his ear but Sam can't hear anything over the panicked thumping of his own heart.

\-----------

Gabe hears Sam cut off mid sentence with a pained grunt and hears the clatter of a dropped phone.

"Sam?" He calls out over the line but there is no answer. He hears vague mumbling like someone is speaking and then sudden scuffling, followed by a curse. Then there is a click and the line is silent. Gabe stares at the hung up phone while terror starts to grip him.

 _What happened to Sam?! Is he okay?!_  Gabe's fear threatens to consume him. He doesn't even know where Sam is, how is he supposed to help him?

 _Charlie. Charlie is with him!_  Gabe calls Charlie and waits impatiently for her to pick up. His foot is tapping frantically and even the two minutes it takes her to pick up feels far too long.

"Gabe, what's happening?" Charlie greets jovially. He can hear loud music and conversation in the background.

"Where are you?" Gabe asks urgently.

"What? Uh, I'm at a party on Ridgeview St. Why?"

 _Ridgeview! Ridgeview damnit!_  Fear is swirling darkly in Gabe's stomach and he's already running for his car. He starts up the engine and accelerates quickly. One hand is still holding the phone pressed up against his head.

"Charlie, are you with Sam?" Gabe's heart is pounding in his chest and he's pretty sure he's breaking most of the speed limits.

"Am I with Sam? No, sorry I haven't seen him since I got here." Gabe groans and nearly slams his head into the steering wheel in frustration and helplessness.

"Why? What's wrong?" Charlie seems concerned by Gabe's reaction.

"I don't know! Something's happened to Sam and I need your help finding him!" The panic that has been threatening to boil over finally edges into his voice. The cheering in the background of the phonecall grows louder.

"What? Sorry, can't hear you!" Charlie speaks loudly into the phone. Gabe flinches at the volume right up against his ear.

"Charlie, listen! You need to find Sam, he's in trouble but I don't know where he is!" Gabe repeats as loudly as he can. Gabe can vaguely hear people chanting for someone to chug something.

"I'm sorry Gabe, I can't hear you. I've gotta go now, I'll talk to you in the morning okay? Bye!" And then Charlie hangs up on him.

"Damn it!" Gabe shouts. Gabe was still speeding along the roads as fast as he could, but he didn't know if he would be there in time. Luckily it was dark out so there weren't very many people on the road to question his speeding. The drive seemed to go on forever no matter how fast he pushed his car.

When Gabe finally turned onto the street his chest unclenched just a little bit. He pulled off the road and leapt out, looking around frantically. He grimaced at the too familiar house in front of him, and started to run up to the porch. He stopped when he saw Sam's dropped phone laying on the concrete by his car.

Gabe's guts were tying themselves into knots again all of a sudden. Gabe turned around and surveyed the scene slowly.

"Sam?" He called out, not really expecting a response. But then he heard some scuffling and a grunt sound from the shadowed area between the houses. He approached slowly and carefully, using the silent tread he had learned long ago. Allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness, his face hardened at what he saw.

"Let him go." Gabe growled. Luke had Sam pinned to the ground and a hand covering his mouth to keep him from alerting the others. His head whipped around and when he saw who it was he grinned evilly.

"Gabriel, long time no see." Luke stood up and turned to face Gabe completely.  
Sam sat up quickly and lay panting for breath.

"Gabe?" He finally managed to ask in a whisper. His eyes were concerned and questioning. Gabe shook his head slightly at Sam, never letting Luke out of his sight.

"Oh, so it's Gabe now, is it?" Luke sneered condescendingly down at Gabe.

"Fuck off, Luke." Gabe snarled.

"What are you going to do? Make me laugh to death?" Luke said.

"You never had the guts to hit me, and you still don't. You've always been a softie, Gabe. Just the runt of the litter with his little jokes to try and keep the world from falling apart. Well how did that work out?" Luke rips at every pressure point he knows Gabe has with a sadistic glee as the poison drips from his tongue. Gabe is breathing hard and he is seeing red.

"I loved you, Luke. I still love you. But I hate what you've become. You're wrong, and I know it. You're irredeemable, but I love you and that doesn't make me weak. It makes me honest. Like you never were." Gabe spits the words out forcefully. It feels good to finally get the bitter feelings off his chest. Luke is taken aback for a second by the verbal retaliation, but a dark smirk quickly eclipses the surprise.

"You were never brave enough to face any of your problems before, why start now? You're a coward who doesn't know when to leave well enough alone." Luke smirks at Gabe and Gabe laughs.

Sam is startled by the bitter sound. It echoes with hate and it feels sharp enough to cut, nothing like the wholehearted guffaws he normally gives that make the air feel like butter. Sam internally shrinks away from it.

He sees the dark look in Gabe's eyes. The defensive posture Gabe takes up. He sounds clipped and hollow, like all of his emotions have been carefully pressed away. This is a side of Gabe that he has never seen and to be honest it terrifies Sam.

What could Luke have possibly done to Gabe to bring out this snarling monster? It reminds Sam of the way scared animals bristle and snarl like they have the most to lose.

"A scared animal is a dangerous animal." he recalls his father telling him once on a hunting trip. And he sees that Gabe is indeed scared. Terrified of Luke, for whatever he has done. Gabe's laughter cuts off as abruptly as it began.

"Leave Sam alone." His voice cold as stone. His face hardened and impenetrable to any of what he's feeling underneath.

"Oh, little Sammy and I were just getting started." Luke leaned down and stroked Sam's cheek, Sam glared and flinched away from the touch. Luke turned to Gabe just in time to get punched in the face. Luke was sent reeling but he recovered quickly.

Pouncing, he barreled into Gabe and gave him a flurry of hits. He landed a solid punch on Gabe's face and his stomach, and Sam winced. Gabe shoved Luke away and then punched him right in the jaw. Suddenly it was a blur of trading blows and Sam couldn't quite keep track of who was who.

He realized his vision was blurring even more and panic filled him. Luke had a grip on Gabe's throat and was trying to strangle him. Gabe kneed Luke in the chest and propelled him backwards, wheezing from the impact. Gabe slammed Luke into the wall and punched him again and again in the face.

Luke kicked Gabe's feet out from under him and Sam heard Gabe's head make a sickening crack sound as it hit the ground. Sam tried to push himself to his feet, but all of his limbs felt heavy.

 _I need to help him!_ Sam thought desperately as his vision darkened to be unrecognizable. Sam fought against unconsciousness, but he couldn't resist the pull of it any longer. The last thing he saw was Luke's fist poised to hit Gabe before there was only darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, I couldn't resist!


	9. Cherry Lips

Sam wakes slowly to the feeling of warmth. Then the awareness of dim yellow light on his eyelids. He is laying somewhere soft and he feels somewhat light, but his eyelids feel heavy as he tries to open them.

Sam looks around at his surroundings, identifying the decorations of a hospital room. The curtains are closed but he can see gentle morning light peeking through the curtains and spilling onto the floor.

He doesn't recall going to the hospital, but something is niggling at the back of his mind. Something he should remember, something important.

 _Oh God, Gabe!_  All of the memories of last night come filtering back suddenly like a bad nightmare and his breathing picks up. Sam needs to know if Gabe's okay, what even happened after he passed out?!

The heart monitor at his side speeds up and begins beeping frantically. Sam startles at the noise and twists to see the monitor, and damn it that noise really isn't helping his heart rate. A nurse comes hustling into the room to see him sitting up.

"Oh, glad to see you're awake! How are you feeling?" The nurse smiles reassuringly at him.

"Fine, I guess." Sam has a pounding headache but he's had much worse.

"Good! Now I'm going to need you to take some deep breaths to try and bring your heart rate back to normal, can you do that for me?" Sam nods and tries to calm down.  
He uses the breathing exercises he had learned a while back to try and control his nerves. When the line on the monitor is steady again he finally asks.

"Is Gabe okay?" He asks urgently.

"Gabe? The other man brought in with you?"

"Yes." Sam nods quickly. The nurse looks at him with a dawning understanding. She smiles.

"He's fine sweetie. A bit worse for wear but he should be right as rain in a few weeks." Sam releases a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. Slouching back into the pillows he allows himself to relax.

"Can I see him?" Sam looks pleadingly at the nurse. If only Sam had any idea how effective his puppy dog eyes truly were. The nurse seems to melt in sympathy for him but she smiles sadly.

"Sorry, hun. You can't see him right yet. The doctor will need to check up on you one more time and then there are some officers who need to talk to you. You can see him after that." Sam's eyebrows furrow at the mention of officers and he wonders what all had happened while he was unconscious. Seeing the confusion on his face the nurse tries to reassure him.

"The officers will fill you in on everything I'm sure." She patted his hand and went to the doorway.

"Dr. Hanley will see you in a minute." The nurse smiled once more and then left. Sam really wanted to see Gabe with his own eyes, but he supposed that would have to wait. A few minutes later a woman in a lab coat strode in. Sam nodded to her in greeting.

"Hello, Sam. I'm Dr. Hanley. I'm just going to be checking your vital signs and then I think you'll be free to go." Sam nodded again. He felt sore all over but it didn't feel like anything was broken. Dr. Hanley fiddled with several of the tubes and wires attached to him for several seconds and checked the readings on the monitor.

She scribbled some things down on her clipboard and then smiled at him, seeming satisfied with whatever she had found.

"Alright, you're good to go! The chemicals in your system should be broken down by now and all you need to do is sleep it off. Now don't move too fast or pick up anything too heavy or else you might strain your muscles, but otherwise you should be fine." Sam's smile is weak but genuine.

"Thank you. You wouldn't happen to know where my clothes went, would you?" He asked, looking down at his hospital gown. The doctor frowns slightly.

"We had to cut them off you, as you were unconscious and we weren't sure how serious your injuries were. Do you have any relatives that could bring you some clothes?"

"Uh, no, not really..." Sam said awkwardly. He had immediately thought of Gabe, but he didn't know what kind of shape he was in, and Gabe was still at the hospital too. He didn't want to ask him to drive to their dorms and then back here. Sam considered calling Charlie, but she lived fairly far from the hospital and likely didn't have any clothes in his size.

"Well, not to worry. You're not the first patient to have this difficulty. We have some extra shirts and sweatpants on hand just in case. I'll go get some for you." With that Dr. Hanley departed once again. Sam was itching to find Gabe and talk about all of this. He was brimming over with questions to ask him.

 _How did you even find me?_  
_Did you mean it when you said we were best friends?_  
_Do you know Luke?_  
_What did Luke mean by all of those things he said?_

But most important by far out of all his possible queries for Gabe was Are _you okay?_  That phrase just kept repeating and repeating over and over inside his head like a broken record.

When Dr. Hanley returned she gave him the clothes and he went to the bathroom to change. Sam felt shaky on his feet, but he managed to keep his balance. He wasn't sure if it was his hangover or some weird side effect of whatever Luke had put in his drink or a combination of both but it certainly wasn't fun.

The pants were just a little too short for his long legs and you could see his ankles, but it was better than nothing. Sam emerged from his room and found two police officers waiting to take his statement.

"Hello sir, me and my partner are here to ask you a few questions."

"Alright." Sam just wanted to get this over with this as soon as possible.

"So tell us about the first time you met Luke." Sam started off at their first meeting and explained all of their interactions since then. He left out some of the more personal details involving why he was even at the party in the first place, but overall he repeated the facts. When he had concluded his statement the officers nodded at each other.

"Pictures of you in different places around town were found in Luke's appartment along with those of several previous victims." One of the men said.

"This is enough to convict Luke Johnson of harassment and stalking. We have been trying to get him for a while now but we had no evidence. He will almost certainly go to jail, but even if he doesn't we can definitely get a restraining order on him."

"That's good." Sam should be glad that this creep was getting what he deserved but he just felt tired. He was so drained he couldn't even summon a smile, just a small slump in his shoulders as some of the tension coiled in him released.

"Thank you for your help." Sam said sincerely. The officers smiled politely and seemed to understand his lack of enthusiasm.

"You're welcome, sir. Have a nice day." And the two finally strode away. Sam was already pivoting on his heel to look at the woman at the front desk.

"Hello, do you know where Gabriel Miller's room is?" The woman looked curiously at the man who had just been giving a statement to the police, but remained professional. She pulled something up on her screen.

"It says here that due to the severity of his condition only family members are allowed to visit him." Sam blinked.

_Severity of his condition? That doesn't sound good..._

"I'm his boyfriend." Sam said the words surely, as he was taught to lie, but his heart still jumped slightly at them. He didn't think he could pass himself off as Gabe's brother, so Sam lied. Oh, how he wished he wasn't lying in that moment, the intensity of the longing surprising him. The woman nodded and turned back to the computer.

"Room 451 D. Go left and then to the 3rd floor in the elevators." Sam was relieved she hadn't been phased by his statement, and he practically sprinted through the hallways to get to Gabe's room. When he reached the room the door was open but there was a privacy curtain drawn across the entrance. Sam collected himself and knocked twice.

"Yes?" A small voice called out. It was Gabe, but his usually playful tone sounded so very tired. Sam's heart ached.

"Gabe?" Sam asked tentatively, not sure of the reaction he would get.

"Sam?!" Gabe suddenly sounded so happy that Sam couldn't help but feel a little better. Sweeping back the curtain and stepping inside his arms were suddenly full of enthusiastic Gabe. Gabe hugged Sam tightly and pressed his face into Sam's chest.

A surprised laugh burst out of Sam and he felt himself go loose as the last bit of tension drained away. He realized he hadn't quite believed that Gabe was safe until right now.

"Don't you ever do something like that ever again, you big fucking idiot." Gabe grumbled into Sam's shirt, still refusing to let him go. Sam smiled fondly and returned the hug. He was grateful for the physical reassurance that Gabe was here, and that he was safe.

"I won't." Sam replied seriously. He wasn't sure quite whether he was promising about the party, or getting attacked by freaky creeps, or just running away from Gabe whenever they had a problem but he thought it might be all of them. Gabe looked up at him and smiled, finally breaking the hug. Sam saw that Gabe had a black eye at the same time Gabe saw Sam's bruises on his arms.

"Are you okay?" They asked in unison. Sam looked surprised that Gabe had taken the words right out of his mouth but Gabe just fucking giggled. Sam was startled by the sound and Gabe just laughed more at the look on Sam's face.

It must have been a combination of their adrenaline rush, loopy tiredness, pain killers, and the feeling of finally being safe and reunited but Sam took one look at Gabe and started giggling too. They fell back onto the bed, bouncing a little as the room rung with their peals of laughter.

They must have sounded insane to anyone passing by, but Sam couldn't care less in that moment. They were safe. They had survived. Gabe was here and so real and maybe they would be all right after all. Eventually they recovered and they were left catching their breath. Sam felt light and more than a little loopy, but it wasn't a bad feeling.

"So... What all happened last night?" Sam finally asked. Gabe glanced at him and sat up.

"Where do I even start?" Gabe had bags under his eyes and it was clear he hadn't slept well.

"Well, first of all how did you even know where to look for me?" Sam asked. Gabe took a deep breath.

"I called Charlie and she told me it was on Ridgeview St. After that it was pretty easy to find the house where a party was going on." Sam's brow furrowed.

"How did you just happen to know where Ridgeview was? It's all the way across town and even I had to look it up. Plus how do you know Luke?" Gabe went very still. He swept a hand through his hair and sighed. Finally he looked back at Sam.

"Okay, fine. You deserve to know the full story..." Gabe looked visibly upset, but he furrowed his brow and proceeded.

"I was raised in the foster system. I don't  remember anything before it. It was all I had ever known. Several foster parents came and went but nobody ever wanted to keep me." Sam's eyes widened and he went to say something but Gabe silenced him with a look.

"Then one day this man came in. His name was Chuck. He adopted me and that was that. I was one of the lucky kids, most don't ever make it to a stable home." Gabe smiled wryly.

"Well, when we got back to his house there were already three kids there. All of them were older than me. There was Mike, Luke, and Ralph. They seemed welcoming enough and I was overjoyed to finally have a family." A tiny genuine smile creeps its way onto Gabe's features.

"Chuck comforted me and gave me hope. Being around him was like sitting in warm sunshine, he just had a calming effect on everyone around him. He was gentle and he cared about all of us there. In very little time at all it was natural to call him Dad." Then Gabe's smile turns brittle. Sam sees the change before he hears the words.

"And then Dad left."

"What? Where?" Sam asked confused.

"To  this day I still don't know. He may have had a drinking problem or maybe a mistress on the side that he ran away to be with, or maybe he just suddenly didn't want these kids who he had raised.

I don't know... I could never fit it into my view of the gentle man who had raised me. I still can't understand it, but he didn't love us enough to stay for whatever the reason." Gabe's voice was bitter and cutting, years of pain and betrayal layered in his tone.

But Sam can see that his eyes are wet. Sam doesn't know what to say. This is more than he ever expected, and he suspects there isn't anything he could say to make it better. So Sam reaches out and slowly entwines their fingers.

Gabe looks up at Sam, startled, but relaxes when he only finds a supportive smile there. Gabe holds Sam's hand and is glad for the little comfort. It helps to ground him and keep him in the present. Taking a deep breath he continues.

"Mike swore that Dad would be back soon. That was Mike, always loyal to a fault. Luke said it was probably because of Mike that Dad left. They fought viciously. Ralph and I just tried to stay out of their way.

Dad had been gone for weeks and we were left to try and scavenge whatever food we could. It got really bad, to this day I still don't know how Dad ever managed to fool the foster system into thinking he was a good parent."

"Why didn't any of you call the foster system back when it got that bad?" Sam asked softly.

"We had all been through too many houses and even if it was horrible, this was our home. It was the one thing stable in our lives and none of us had ever had anything stable. We weren't going to give it up just to go back to the way it had been." Gabe sounded pained as he said this. He looked up at Sam as if hoping he could understand. Sam nodded at him. He got it, he really did.

"The fighting was terrible. It was a nasty, bloody mess in the house. I tried to spend as little time there in the house as possible. Mike and Luke were pressuring Ralph and I to pick a side. Ralph sided with Mike but I couldn't take it. How was I supposed to pick between my family?

I tried so hard to intervene but it never worked. One day I just had enough. Enough of the abuse and the fighting and watching my tiny broken family tearing itself apart. So I ran. I ran and I didn't look back." Sam's heart ached. He knew the feeling. It was flying high like freedom to escape the mess of a broken family, but there was always the guilt burdening you in everything you did.

"I cut all ties with them. I got a job and worked hard to get where I am now. Mike kicked Luke out after I ran away, I only heard about it months later. Mike moved out and bought a new house on Ridgeview. I still don't know where Ralph went. But when Charlie told me you guys were at a party on Ridgeview I panicked.

I didn't put it above Luke to crash Mike's party just for the hell of it. I was terrified that either Mike or Luke had done something... I didn't want it to be true..." Gabe put his head in his hands and Sam felt the waves of sadness pouring off of Gabe. After a minute Gabe recovered and continued speaking.

"Luke has always been a manipulative bastard. Mike too, but never to the extent that Luke went to. I didn't realize until I was much older, but Luke had never really played fair. He raised me, and I hate him so much but I love him regardless.

He's honestly the worst, he knows all my weaknesses because he put them there. Carefully sculpting me from a young age. It's exciting and intoxicating when he's on your side, but as soon as you fall from his favor he'll rip you apart. This... This is the first time I've ever stood up to him."

Gabe's face is a complicated mix of emotions, and he looks like he doesn't know what to feel. There's pride for standing up against his tormentor, sadness at a lost home, confusion as to what he's even going to do next.

"What was different about this time?" Sam asked curiously. Gabe turned and pinned him with his golden eyes and Sam suddenly wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"You." Gabe said it like it was a revelation and something he had known all along. He said it like it was the best thing he had ever heard and in such a quiet way but it still felt like there were trumpets blaring all around them. Sam was frozen.

"You. It was because of you!" Gabe lights up and he squeezes Sam's hand.

"I did it for you, Samsquatch!" Gabe looks like the universe suddenly makes sense and Sam's head is still spinning. Gabe is staring at him and is suddenly serious.

"I... I don't want to lose you, Sam. I can't pretend like I'm fine with just being friends, because I'm not. You're wonderful and I don't think I ever want to see you in danger ever again. It... It's fine if you don't feel the same way but I just had to tell you."

Sam is stunned. He's staring at Gabe and he just feels dazzled. Is this why you shouldn't look at the sun? Because he feels pretty damn blind right now. Gabe looks away first. Sam blinks.

"Gabe..." Gabe doesn't turn to look at Sam, so Sam gently grabs Gabe's chin and makes him look at Sam. Gabe only gets to see Sam's dazzling smile for a second before it is pressed up against his mouth in a kiss.

Gabe melts into the feeling of their lips moving together and he reaches a hand out to stroke Sam's cheek. He can feel Sam's grin against his own and he doesn't think he has ever loved anyone as much as he does right now. Gabe flicks his tongue out and tastes Sam's lips.

Sam is more than happy to oblige and suddenly the kiss is deeper and Gabe is tilting his head to allow Sam access. Their tongues tangle together and Gabe could swear they're going to tie them up in knots.

Then Sam pulls away and they're both breathing hard, foreheads resting against each other's. Sam is staring into Gabe's endlessly deep eyes.

"I love you." He blurts out.

"Hey, that's my line!" Gabe whines. Sam laughs breathlessly and leans down to scatter light kisses all over Gabe's face.

"Let's get out of here." Sam says with a stupid smile on his face. Gabe smiles right back and they exit the hospital still holding hands, ready to face the world together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! New chapter is up! Thanks for waiting, you guys! Took me a little longer to write this chapter but I'm really happy with how it turned out!


	10. Recoveries

The week passes slowly and gently. Sam finds that it isn't slow as in dragging on and tiring him like it usually does, but in a fascinating way as he throws himself wholeheartedly into each day.

He finds himself appreciating little aspects of his everyday life that he used to take for granted. The way the tiny flower buds poke up from out of the grass as he walks the campus, the smell of cinnamon that follows Gabe everywhere he goes, the smile of a shy girl in the corner of the classroom.

Life is enthused with new meaning and he wakes up feeling excited each day for the first time in a very long while. Sam savors the quiet moments in between things, moments where you have nowhere to be and nothing that needs doing. Moments where you can just stop and appreciate all the little things that add up to make life worth while.

Sam is sitting on the couch enjoying one such moment currently. It is late afternoon and sun trickles in gently through the living room window. Sam is curled up under a blanket listening to the world go by outside. He can hear Gabe humming a tune under his breath in the kitchen as he fixes some popcorn.

Sam still feels an indiscernible warmth curl in his stomach every time he thinks about him and Gabe. This thing with Gabe is still so very new, but it doesn't feel fragile in any way. He really loves the feeling of possibility he gets when he's around Gabe. This is so different from any of his other relationships.

Never once have the "I love you"s come before dating and this whole thing is so unprecedented and new. But Sam's just so excited to have Gabe here with him. They're still discovering themselves with each other, but Sam loves the spark of casual touches that he is now free to make.

Gabe comes back into the room with a big bowl of popcorn and nestles into the blankets next to Sam. Sam smiles and pulls Gabe closer, marveling at what a wonderful boyfriend he has.

"Okay, Gigantor, are we gonna watch the movie or not?" Gabe asks, laughing. Sam huffs but relinquishes Gabe to start the movie. Gabe pecks him on the lips and Sam's grumpiness is instantly cured. Gabe smiles impishly and Sam rolls his eyes. It didn't take Gabe long at all to figure out how to work Sam.

Gabe returns to his seat and they settle down to watch the movie. Sam loses track of the plot about halfway in. He's never been a huge fan of mindless action movies but at least Gabe seems entertained. He's watching with rapt attention and he laughs whenever the bad guys use a particularly cheesy threat.

Sam is just content to bask in the presence of his favorite person and reflect on the circumstances that led to this moment. After they had gotten out of the hospital they had promptly gone home and had a long nap. Sam had felt much better after sleeping off all of the chemicals he had ingested.

Gabe was much more roughed up than Sam. He had a nasty black eye and multiple bruises all over his body. Sam normally didn't get queasy easily but he just felt sick when he was looking at the pain Luke had inflicted on Gabe. When asked about it Gabe would just reply

"You should see the other guy!" The joke rolled easily off his tongue but it held truth too. Apparently Luke had been practically pounded into the dust when the police arrived. Sam couldn't help but feel a sick curl of satisfaction at the news.

He didn't want to think about all the ways that situation could've gone wrong, but he couldn't help it. Gabe could've been hurt worse than he was, possibly dead. Sam stiffened at the thought. Gabe turned to look at him. The bruise around his eye had faded to a pallid green by now.

"You okay, bud?" There was concern in Gabe's eyes and Sam felt his own eyes grow hot. He just pulled Gabe in for a hug and clung to him. Gabe hugged him right back.

"Hey, I'm here. I'm here. What's wrong?" Sam shuddered and then took a deep breath.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. But so much could have been." Sam pressed his face into Gabe's shoulder. Gabe took a sharp breath with sudden understanding.

"It was an awful situation but we're here now, we made it, we're safe." Gabe reassures. Sam knows he's right.

"I don't know what I would've done if I had lost you..." Sam finally whispers. A tiny "Oh." sound escapes Gabe's lips. Sam pulls back and looks at Gabe. He looks so surprised, and then he's kissing Sam like he needs him to breathe. It's pressing and urgent and leaves Sam feeling breathless.

When they finally part Gabe's eyes are sparkling and he's looking at Sam likes he's the whole world. Sam finds himself falling once again into those golden pools and this time he doesn't fight it. He throws himself into them, giving himself over wholly to the enigma that is Gabriel.

The wonderful enigma of soft and genuine care intertwined with sharp edges and biting humor, a harsh past and a hopeful future, the weakness and the strength that Gabe has to open himself up completely to someone, wonder and complexity, all of the things about Gabe that Sam can only describe as beautiful.

The sound of gunshots from the TV bring them back from their moment, both flushing and pulling back, but not before Sam presses a fleeting kiss to Gabe's lips.

\---------------

Later that evening Sam and Gabe are sitting in comfortable silence on Sam's bed. Sam is on his laptop and Gabe is on his phone, their legs tangled easily together. Sam loves the ease of it, just being in the same room with Gabe makes him so happy. The freedom to just lean over and share something funny with him or not at all if he wishes. There isn't any expectation and it all just seems so easy, so clear.

"I think we need a vacation, don't you?" Sam breaks the silence and shows Gabe the screen. Gabe looks at the pictures of beach on the screen and lights up.

"I wholeheartedly agree. When?" Sam can't help but grin at Gabe.

"How about this weekend? We could drive down to the coast and camp on the beach." Sam scrolls through the pictures showing cliff faces and crashing waves on the national park website.

"That sounds amazing. It looks beautiful." Gabe is still staring at the pictures. It's been years since he's been camping, he almost forgot how much he enjoyed it.

Gabe and Sam stay up far too late planning out their trip and just reveling in each other's company. Gabe convinces Sam to let him braid his hair and they look a right mess when they finally fall asleep tangled around each other that night.

\---------------

The next day Charlie is apologizing profusely for ignoring Gabe's call at the party.

"I just feel like such a horrible friend! If I had been paying more attention I could've gotten to Sam sooner! I'm so sorry you guys!" Charlie says angrily.

"Like I said before, it's not your fault, Charlie. Everything turned out fine in the end and I forgive you. Just don't do it again." Sam says gently. Charlie glances at Gabe.

"Yeah, I'm still a bit upset with you but I'll get over it. You didn't know what was happening and if you had you would have helped in any way you could. As long as you learn from your mistakes I'm fine." Charlie exhaled a sigh of relief and pulled them into one giant hug.

"You guys are too nice, I don't deserve such great friends. At least you two finally pulled your shit together and confessed your feelings, it's been physically painful to watch you dance around each other." Gabe laughed and Sam shook his head with a tiny smile as his ears reddened.

"Yeah, and it only took a life or death scenario to get us to!" Gabe joked. Sam laughed and Charlie snickered. As they walked the campus Sam noticed how students' eyes lingered on their little group longer than normal, and how people naturally parted to let them through easier.

Word had spread about Gabe's fight with Luke pretty quickly and the stories had been quickly exaggerated too. But the one detail that everyone seemed to agree on was that it had been for Sam, and Sam noticed how everyone had been especially nice to him lately.

Sam wasn't sure how to feel about it, on the one hand he didn't need anybody thinking that he couldn't protect himself, but on the other hand he couldn't deny that there was more than a little pride at having everyone respect his boyfriend as they should. He goddamn deserved to be treated well, and Sam would fight anyone who said different.

Gabe seemed utterly oblivious to the attention, but Sam wasn't sure if he was just pretending not to notice. He was surprisingly sneaky like that sometimes. It didn't really matter what he thought of the whole situation though, because it was there whether he liked it or not, so he may as well just go along with it.

"Sam and I are going to the coast over the weekend." Gabe is saying happily.

"That's cool! Don't do anything I wouldn't do! " Charlie teases.

"I'll make sure to not leave any of my electronic devices behind then." Gabe jokes. Sam snorts and they cross the street.

"So who wants takeout for lunch?" Sam asks.

"Me!" Charlie says.

Gabe smiles at Sam and Sam decides in that moment that he really doesn't give a shit what anyone else says about them, he has all he cares about right here.

"You coming, Samshine?" Gabe calls back to Sam.

"Yeah, yeah I am." Sam's smile is radiant as he hurries to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tenth Chapter! Double digits baby! So this was more of a filler chapter than anything else, but I'm still happy with how it turned out! Hope you don't think it's too short, but I wanted to get it posted. I have a few more things I'd like to include in this fic so I still don't know how long it will be, but it will be wrapping to a close soon.


	11. Crashing Waves

"Don't forget to pack the camp stove!" Sam says.

"Already got it in the back." Gabe replies. Sam smiles and leans down to press a quick kiss to Gabe's nose. Gabe laughs at his sappiness and then pulls Sam down by his shirt collar and kisses him soundly on the mouth. By the time Gabe pushes Sam away Sam feels more than a little dazed.

"Go finish up you big goof." Gabe gives him a light shove towards the front of the car and Sam can't help the little smile that curls his lips as he goes about arranging the bags.

\------------

Once they have packed up everything they need for their road trip, they are ready to get on the road. Sam and Gabe drive past miles of wheat fields and shrubs. Occasionally they spot livestock or sometimes even antelope. But gradually as they drive the landscape begins to change.

The flat fields turn into rolling hills that grow larger until they are driving through a valley between two very tall cliffs. The layers of rock are all different colors and textures and the slope of the cliff draws the eye along it.

It is actually quite beautiful in a jagged, weathered way. Sam and Gabe amuse themselves for a little by trying to name the types of rock they can see. Gabe manages quite a few but of course Sam knows all of them.

"The broken up looking grey rock is shale, and that pink layer lower down at the bottom is probably clay." Sam finishes lecturing.

"God, you're such a nerd! Of course it is. Shouldn't you be keeping your eyes on the road anyway?" Gabe asks teasingly. Sam laughs.

"But it's so beautiful!" Sam argues.

"It's just a bunch of rocks, you can look at all the rocks you want when we get to the park."

"I wasn't talking about the rocks." Sam says and his face is suddenly flirtatious.

"Oh, really? Do tell then, what could possibly be more pretty than your precious rocks?" Gabe raises one eyebrow suggestively.

"Well, it's this person I really like... They're cute and soft and they really like snuggles," Gabe snorts.

"But they're also brave and strong and sometimes they terrify me with the strength of their anger. They're a wonderful person who I love more than anyone else in the whole world and I don't know what I would do without them." There's a stunned silence and Sam turns to see the startled look Gabe is giving him.

"What's wrong?" Sam asks innocently, but the smirk on his face gives him away. Gabe scoffs dismissively but his cheeks are flushed.

"Nothing, I just didn't know you were a total sap." Gabe snarks but when Gabe looks away Sam sees how he wipes at his eyes quickly, as if he doesn't want anyone to notice. Sam smiles secretly and turns back to the road, allowing Gabe his privacy.

\--------------

When they arrive at the park Sam wakes Gabe from his nap and points out the sign to him. They check in and Gabe helps direct Sam towards their camping site with the map that the park ranger gave them.

They finally find their camp site after driving around for another twenty minutes (Gabe had been holding the map upside down) and are relieved to see that they have a fairly secluded spot.

"It's not my fault they made the map so damn hard to read!" Gabe complains.

"Stop whining, you know it was your fault. They even labeled the entrance! Now come help me put up the tent." Sam chuckles as Gabe comes over to help, still grumbling.

Sam is familiar with this tent, so setting it up goes fairly quickly. Sam shows Gabe how to pitch it properly and Gabe is a very quick learner, except that he won't stop making innuendos.

"So you're saying that I push the pole through the hole?" Gabe smirks as Sam just puts his head in his hands.

"Please shut up." Sam groans. Gabe just grins.

"Whatever is the problem? I'm only clarifying the instructions on how best to erect a tent." Gabe puts on his best innocent face and Sam can't help but grin.

_God, he's a fucking idiot. I'm so in love with this fucking idiot._

Shoving Gabe lightly, he just shakes his head exasperatedly.

"We're almost done, let's just finish this up and then we can go down to the beach, okay?" Sam says, smiling.

"Alright, Sammich." Gabe relents with a teasing smile, and Sam knows it's only a matter of time before Gabe brings it back up, but for now he's safe. They make a quick lunch and head down to the beach. They follow a small path through the woods that supposedly leads down to the beach.

Gabe gasps when they finally step off the forest path and onto the cliff overlooking the ocean. There are huge crashing waves splashing rhythmically over the rocks and the smell of salt air pours over them. The beach is rocky and harsh, a weathered beauty that takes their breath away.

The white foam cresting on the waves highlights each swell before they break against the cliff face. There is a steep wooden staircase bolted into the cliff face that leads down to the water. Gabe leads the way down the stairs, eager to see the beach up close but still trying to be careful on the slippery steps.

Sam follows after, smiling softly at Gabe's enthusiasm. Gabe leaps off the final step with a flourish, landing firmly on a large rock. The chunks of rock that cover the ground look as if they broke apart from the cliff many years ago.

There are pools of water where the rock has been worn down from years of ocean waves, and Sam finds that when he looks down into them they are full of life. Small fish that were trapped by the receding tide, sea anemones and mussels all cluster in one small tide pool.

"Hey Sam, come look at this!" Gabe's shout registers above the noise of the waves. Sam turns to see Gabe crouching in front of a large tide pool, peering into a darkened crack in the rock. Sam makes his way over to Gabe, carefully picking around the seaweed that has washed up on the rocks.

"Look! I found an octopus!" Gabe is grinning with unbridled glee, and Sam kneels to get a good look at it. And sure enough, there is a tiny red octopus staring back out of the crack at him. It looks so strange and alien looking, curled up awkwardly in the rock, that Sam has to laugh.

"It looks like you before you get your coffee!" Sam says delighted. Gabe sputters.

"I do not look like that!" He exclaims. Sam looks between the octopus and Gabe, and yep, that's the same baleful glare looking back at him. Sam can't help it. He falls backward laughing and can't seem to get himself under control. Sam finally stops, taking some calming breaths with a stupid grin still stuck to his face. Gabe shoots him a poisonous look.

"I'm done, I'm done!" Sam raises his hands in surrender, but then he makes eye contact with Gabe again and he's giggling once more. Gabe sighs long sufferingly, and he tries to act upset but a tiny smile tugs at the corner of his lips even then.

Gabe and Sam eventually recover and continue their exploration of the beach. They find a hollow against the cliff face that shelters them from the wind and settle down there to have their lunch. It's a simple lunch of ham sandwiches along with chips and oranges, but Gabe thinks it's the best food he's ever tasted after working up an appetite scrambling over rocks for an hour.

Once they've eaten Gabe runs out to the tip of one of the largest rocks, Sam watching from their little hollow. Gabe spreads his arms out wide and Sam manages to pull his phone out just in time to take a picture right as a huge wave comes crashing up and soaks Gabe.

He spins around, grinning wildly as water runs down his hair and drips off his clothes. Sam is utterly enchanted by this wild little man, he feels it like a punch to the chest as Gabe flashes that blinding smile at him. He doesn't even care that afterwards he is enfolded into a freezing wet hug as Gabe barrels into his arms, smiling cheekily.

\----------------

The tide begins to go out and reveal more of the beach as time passes, it becomes sandier the farther out the tide recedes. Soon Sam and Gabe can venture out and find all sorts of interesting things that the tide has dredged up from the depths of the ocean.

Starfish and sand dollars abound, and Gabe flips over rocks to find tons of little shore crabs that scuttle crazily for shelter. Once they even find a rock with a fish splashing in a pool of water beneath it. Sam identifies the odd little eel-like thing as a saddleback gunnel found in these parts. The nerd.

Eventually the sun starts to set and they begin the walk back to their camp. They have long since kicked off their shoes and are currently carrying them as they walk through the surf. Gabe reaches out and takes Sam's hand in his, and Sam turns and beams down at Gabe. Gabe snorts a tiny bit but his cheeks are flushed when he looks away.

The adoration with which Sam looks at him never ceases to make him a little flustered. Sam is such a wonderful person, but Gabe is just starting to realize that he isn't quite as perfect as Gabe had originally thought. Gabe had thought that Sam was perfection incarnate, but Sam still had difficulties and he still had challenges.

When Gabe had first met Sam he had seemed like he had his life all put together and like he had no troubles in the world, but now Gabe knew Sam was just as flawed as him, and he loved Sam all the more for those flaws, but sometimes it was so easy to forget, because Sam was just so _perfect_.

Even with all of those flaws he was always so positive and hopeful about the world, even when the world had consistently done him wrong. And that optimism gave Gabe hope for the future too. Sam was the most wonderful person Gabe had ever known, and his presence was like golden light radiating outwards.

Maybe Gabe was biased, but all he ever saw when he looked at Sam were good things. His complicated eyes, how he always had some little nerd fact of the day, the funny little snort that he made when he tried to hold back laughter, the soft way he would comfort people, the curl of his lips, the way his hands felt right when they were holding Gabe's, the different colors hidden in his hair...

He could go on, Gabe realized with a start. He could go on for hours. It took him by surprise, the swelling of love that felt like it was overflowing from his chest. His heart caught in his throat, he felt dizzy. Sam was everything he'd never wished for, everything he never even knew he needed.

But here on this beach, with the sun setting overhead and the waves crashing along to the beat of his heart Gabe couldn't imagine how he had ever survived without holding Sam in his arms, couldn't imagine his life before Sam. Couldn't imagine a life without Sam. Gabe stops walking. Sam falters and looks at Gabe.

"Gabe?" Sam looks concerned. Gabe stares at Sam in awe. Gabe reaches out and strokes Sam's face, his hand lingering on Sam's cheek. Sam's eyes soften and he smiles softly.

"What is it Gabe?" Sam asks. Gabe looks into Sam's eyes. He steels himself.

"I don't want to leave you." Gabe says. Sam's brow furrows.

"Leave? Leave where? You weren't planning on leaving were you?" Sam sounds confused.

"No! No, Sam of course not. I just..." Gabe trails off at the end of his sentence, not sure how to communicate this thing that feels like it's the most important thing he's ever said. Sam looks at Gabe carefully, attentively.

"For the first time ever, I don't want to run. I don't want to flee from this, from us. I... I want to stay. With you." Gabe says slowly. He realizes that it's true. Well of course it's true, but saying it out loud makes it so much more real, and it's startling how much he means it.

He's always been afraid of commitment, and he knows it, but now he feels none of it. No fear, no apprehension, only love. Sam's eyes widen as he realizes the significance of Gabe's statement.

"Oh. Oh!" Sam breaks out into a radiant grin.  
"Of course I want to stay with you too! I love you. I just wasn't sure if you were serious and I didn't want to push..." Sam trails off looking sheepish.

"God, we're just a couple of idiots aren't we?" Gabe says fondly.

"Well, I'd rather be an idiot than the smartest man alive if it was with you." Sam says, grinning sappily.

"Oh, just shut up already." Gabe is grinning.

The pink red light of the setting sun glints off their hair as Gabe leans in and kisses Sam, the smell of the sea and the crash of waves all around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe... Well I'm back guys, hope you like the new chapter! (I would say I'm not dead but I am) I don't even have a good excuse for the long wait, just procrastination, but I swear to you I will finish this story!


	12. Hair On Fire

Sam and Gabe sit nestled against each other in front of the campfire. They have a blanket wrapped snugly around them and Gabe feels warmer and safer in that single moment than he thinks he ever has. The day had been a whirlwind of activity and excitement, thrilling and wonderful.

They would have to return to their mundane routines tomorrow but Gabe was very glad to have gotten this little break from their stressful schedules. This quiet moment with Sam is all he has ever needed. Gabe scooches closer to Sam and lets out a contented sigh. Gabe can feel the vibrations in Sam's chest as Sam chuckles lightly, pulling Gabe into a hug.

"Hello there, cuddlebug." Sam says amused.

"Shut the fuck up." Gabe grumbles, though it is somewhat muffled from where he has his face pressed into Sam's side. Sam just laughs again. Fucker.

Gabe will never admit it, but snuggling with someone he loves is the absolute best. He's never really had the occasion to do it much, as most of his fumbles in the dark have been exactly that, quick and dirty sex.

But part of him just goes all soft and squishy at how meaningful and sincere it feels that Sam just enjoys cuddling and sharing his time with Gabe. Gabe has never really had that before. Never had anyone who really enjoyed Gabe that much.

The atmosphere is cozy. The campground is dark and cold, except for the warmth of the fire, casting flickering orange light along the ground. Above them the sky is a dark blue, lit by millions of stars that burn indefinitely into the dark. The silhouettes of tree branches reach out over the clearing.

But Gabe is most absorbed by the sight of Sam in the firelight. He can't make out the sunflowers in Sam's eyes in the darkness, but Sam's hair is reflecting the flickering colors of the fire and Gabe is entranced. The shadows cast across his face highlight his jawline and deep inset eyes.

Sam turns to look at Gabe and his eyes are soft. Gabe's breath catches but his doesn't look away, forces himself to keep eye contact and see the love in Sam's eyes. He both wants to see it and wants to turn away, it's overwhelming. Sam smiles.

"Holy fuck." Gabe whispers. Sam's dimples appear and his smile is soft and so pure. His lips curved in a perfect arc. Gabe can't stand it.

"What is it?" Sam asks with laughter in his voice. Gabe can't help but smile back. 

"You have a beautiful smile." Gabe whispers reverently. He still can't believe it's directed at him, that _he_ made Sam smile like that. Sam blushes and shakes his head adorably. He huffs.

"It's not anything special." Sam says slightly embarrassed. Gabe arches a brow skeptically.

"I beg to differ." Sam rolls his eyes. They sit leaning against each other in intimate silence for a few moments. Then Sam turns to Gabe with a gleam in his eyes.

"While we're being unbearably sappy, I have something to tell _you_." He smirks. Gabe trys to protest.

"Really, that's not necessary-"

"No, I think I have the right to be ridiculously cute now." Sam retorts with an adorable little smile.

"You're always ridiculously cute..." Gabe mumbles grumpily. Sam's ears redden a little bit more but he soldiers on.

"I think you have the most amazing laugh." Sam says matter of factly.

"No, I don-," Gabe's stubborn face turns to confusion. "Wait, what?" Sam nods decisively.

"You have the most amazing laugh. It's warm and rich and like honey pouring over itself. It's bright like a summer's day and always so joyful and sincere. I like it." Sam explains. Gabe gapes. His cheeks are more than a little red.

"How long have you thought about that answer?" Gabe finally asks a little incredulously. Sam scowls.

"Don't try to deny it." He says stubbornly. Gabe laughs.

"Of course not. If you say I have a honey laugh, then I have a honey laugh." Gabe jokes.

They gaze into the fire watching the shapes fleeting dance as the flames cast moving shadows all about them. The wood crackles and the smoke rises into the sky in great swirls.

"I brought marshmallows." Sam mentions innocently. Gabe's eyes widen.

"Marshmallows!" Gabe jumps up and runs to the car. Sam watches Gabe begin digging through the food.

"Underneath the potato chips." Sam calls out. Gabe prances back triumphantly, brandishing two wooden sticks and the bag of jumbo marshmallows. They sit close together and roast their marshmallows.

"You really know the way to a boy's heart, Sammy." Gabe jokes. Sam smiles

"Am I a keeper, then?" Gabe turns suddenly serious.

"Of course you are. I'm here for as long as you'll have me." Gabe is looking at him so intently and Sam can feel his heart speed up in his chest.

"Hey, hey what's all this 'as long as you'll have me' crap? I love you Gabe, I'm not going to leave you, I swear." Sam wraps Gabe up in a hug and holds him. Something uncoils in Gabe's chest and he sags into the embrace, melting at the touch. Part of him still has trouble believing Sam, but he still loves the words. He doesn't know what Sam sees in him, but there must be something. He'll figure it out someday, he has time.

Gabe looks up at Sam and smiles. It's soft and genuine and Sam smiles right back. Gabe can't help but think it's pretty symbolic, their little circle of golden warmth in the darkness. Sam is Gabe's fire, he's always so warm and kind even when the rest of the world is cold. Sam is still gazing at Gabe when Gabe looks away and snickers.

"Your marshmallow's on fire." Gabe smirks. Sam's eyes widen and he frantically tries to blow it out. Gabe leans back and laughs while Sam tries to extinguish his flaming treat.

As it turns out Sam can't toast marshmallows for shit. Gabe watches with growing amusement as Sam manages to burn every single marshmallow he's given. After the 6th one in a row Gabe decides to step in.

"Unacceptable." Gabe says. He makes grabby hands at Sam. "I can't have you eating a burnt marshmallow, give it here." Sam laughs.

"No, really it's fine. I don't mind the burnt ones." He shrugs. Gabe looks appalled.

"Heathen!" He says in mock horror. Then he holds a hand to his forehead and pretends to faint. Sam just rolls his eyes.

"Did I offend your delicate marshmallow sensibilities?" Sam asks. Gabe sits up.

"Yes, yes you did." Gabe pouts. Sam laughs.

"I'm terribly sorry, however shall I make it up to you?" Sam says.

"You can start by letting me remedy this grievous crime against marshmallows." Sam let's out a long suffering sigh and gives in to Gabe's stubborn look, handing Gabe his marshmallow stick. Gabe carefully disposes of the blackened marshmallow and goes about roasting a new one. Then he hands it back to Sam.

"Now _that's_ how it's done." Gabe says proudly. The marshmallow is a perfectly toasted golden brown on all sides. Sam takes a bite of it and it is crisp on the outside and soft on the inside, and very sugary. He swallows. It's _very_ good.

"I still don't know how you manage to get it just right without burning it." Sam says. He has never been able to master it.

"It's a skill." Gabe smiles. "So what do you think? Does it beat a burnt marshmallow?" Sam pretends to consider it.

"I think I'd give it a 6/10." He jokes. Gabe gasps.

"A 6/10! I'm offended. That is clearly at least a 9!" Sam laughs.

\-----------------

Eventually they retire to their tent, exhausted but happy. They bundle up in multiple layers of clothes and blankets to ward off the chill night air and nestle together in their sleeping bags.They fall asleep to the gentle chirping of crickets and peeping of frogs.

 

 

_Sam feels disoriented. He's outside his old house. It's night time. The porch lights are on and there are moths fluttering around. The night is cool outside. Sam walks up the steps and opens the door. He steps inside. The living room is just as he remembers it._

_The couch that he and Dean used to sit on watching early morning cartoons, the pictures of family on the walls, the carpet where he once spilled his orange juice and was so afraid he'd get in trouble for it. Sam smiles at the memories._

_But then Sam remembers Dad coming in and being so mad about the spill, and Dean saying that he did it, and Dad leading him away. Sam remembers how later Dean had a black eye, how Dean said that he had fallen, how Sam had been too young to understand at the time._

_Now the memory just makes him sick. This house is full of memories, both good and bad. Sam shakes himself. He makes his way down the hallway, then stops at the door to his room. He hesitates, his hand hovering over the doorknob. Then Sam opens it._

_Heat pours over him. Fire, there's fire everywhere. There's flames on the walls, the bed, the dresser. Wood is charring, paint peeling, crackling sounds fill the air. Dean is standing in the middle of his room, and he's burning._

_"Dean!" Sam yells. Sam rushes forward, desperate to save Dean from the licking flames. The orange flame casts Dean's pained face in a hellish light, and the crackling grows louder. Sam can see Dean's face beginning to burn. Sam reaches for Dean and curls his fingers around his arm, trying to tug him away._

_The fire races up Sam's arm and Sam is burning. The flames spread fast over his entire body, there's no escape. Sam screams as he feels his skin begin to melt from the heat. The heat is unbearable and it feels like he's burning from the inside out. His_ _face contorts in pain and he slumps onto the floor, curling into a ball of agony._

_"Sam!" The smell of smoke is slowly choking him. "Sam!" Someone is yelling his name. "Sam, wake up!"_

 

 

Sam blinks his eyes open and his vision flicks around the area. His sleeping bag is too tight, too hot all at once. Frantically he unzips it and gracelessly kicks out of the bag. The cool night air is welcome against his overheated body.

His heart is beating at a rapid fire pace and his breathing is ragged. He's covered in sweat and his pupils are tiny points. Sam is shaking. He looks up to see Gabe looking at him with concern in his eyes. He's still in the tent. Sam exhales and lets his head fall back onto the pillow, closing his eyes.

"Sam, are you okay?" Gabe asks.

"Fine. Just a bad dream is all." Sam's lips twist into a wry little smile but his voice is torn and tired.

"You don't sound fine." Gabe says. Sam opens his eyes to see Gabe staring at him stubbornly. Sam didn't want this to happen, didn't want Gabe to have to deal with his brokenness.

"I am." Sam pastes on a tiny fake smile. Gabe looks skeptical. "Really!" Sam says, still smiling.

"Don't pull that crap with me Samuel David Winchester." Gabe scowls at Sam.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asks. Gabe glares.

"That covering up your feelings because you don't want to hurt others look." Sam deflates a little.

"Sorry, sorry. Bad habit, I know." Sam says. Gabe's face softens a little.

"Now, do you wanna tell me what that was about?" Gabe asks.

"It was nothi-"

"Sam." Gabe says sternly. Sam stops. "You were screaming."

"Oh." Sam says. He feels so stupid right now. Gabe pulls Sam into a hug.

"Just tell me, I care about you, you great awkward puppy, and I promise you'll feel better after talking about it." Gabe is so sincere and caring. Sam sighs.

"Okay. You're right, of course you're right." Sam mumbles into Gabe's shoulder. Gabe rubs soothing circles into Sam's back, waiting patiently for Sam to begin. Sam takes a shaky breath to steady himself.

"It- it was about the house where I used to live with my dad and my brother." Sam says. "I've mentioned Dean before, right?" Gabe nods.

"Well, Dean practically raised me, he was a great brother and father and friend... And Dad... Dad not so much." Gabe hugged Sam tighter as he paused for a moment.

"My mom... She died in a house fire when I was just a baby." Gabe inhaled sharply. Sam shrugged. "I don't remember her much..."

"But after she died Dad went kinda crazy. I don't really remember a time when he wasn't, but for a while I was too young to realize it. I think... I think he wanted Dean to fill Mom's role, so he got mad when I saw Dean as more of a father than him..." Sam felt sort of empty.

He wasn't sad about Mom's death or mad about Dad. He felt pain for Dean, and all those years Dean had endured with Dad for Sam. Sam felt the ever present guilt of leaving.

"Dad took it out on Dean. And Dean shielded me from most of it. But I would hear them fighting in the kitchen sometimes." As much as Sam wanted to tell Gabe the whole truth, Sam couldn't bring himself to talk about the fight with Dad. Too many painful memories.

"I eventually left, but it wasn't a pleasant parting. I haven't talked to either of them since." Sam finished. Gabe was wrapped around Sam tightly, and Sam realized belatedly that his hands were gripping the back of Gabe's shirt so tight his knuckles were white.

"Oh Sam." Gabe said it so softly, so full of understanding and sorrow. "My sweet noble, stupid, brave, little Sam." Gabe's voice was very sad but full of undeniable fondness.

"I'm sorry." Sam said. Gabe pulled back and looked at him with puzzlement.

"What ever could you possibly be sorry for?" He asked.

"This was supposed to be a weekend for relaxing and having fun. I didn't want to ruin it by making you have to deal with me and my brokenness." Sam's eyes were downcast and he was filled with shame.

"Oh no, Sam. Don't say that." Gabe pulled Sam up to look at him.

"Listen to me, okay?" Gabe said. Sam made eye contact with Gabe. "You always come first. You're not a burden or an inconvenience. Don't repress this shit! You didn't ruin anything. And anyone who says otherwise can go fuck themselves. Okay?" Sam sniffed.

"Okay." He said. Sam smiled, a small but real smile. Returning Sam's smile, Gabe pulled Sam into a crushing hug. Sam found that he didn't mind so much. Sam took a deep breath.

"I dreamt that Dean was caught in a fire, and that I couldn't save him... I'm worried about him, Gabe." Sam said. Gabe tousled Sam's hair lightly.

"That's some heavy baggage there, Sammich." Gabe commented. He kept his voice light, but Sam saw his meaningful look. Sam ducked his head, embarrassed.

"I'm glad you told me, you shouldn't have to carry that around all on your own." Gabe said softly. Sam huffed and looked up at Gabe with a soft smile.

"You know what I think you should do?" Gabe asked. Sam looked at him curiously.

"Go check up on them. You obviously care about Dean, and it's not everyday you get a chance to repair things like this. You've got a chance, Sam. Don't throw it away like I did." Part of Sam wants very much to argue, but then he looks at Gabe.

Gabe's eyes are so very sad, full of lost chances and what could have been, but he's still looking at Sam with such fondness. Sam knows that Gabe regrets all the what ifs and that he truly loved his brothers. All of Sam's fears just seem like useless cowardice when faced with Gabe's genuine sorrow. Sam doesn't want to lose all contact with Dean. Sam needs to face his past, needs to stop running.

"Alright." Sam says. "You're right. I should." Gabe smiles.

"I knew you had it in ya." Gabe says proudly.

Sam is still extremely nervous about what the future has in store for him, but somehow he knows he can face it. Gabe believes in him, so Sam is going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! Slow chapters are better than no chapters, right? I sure hope so. So Sam has a middle name in this universe apparently! And I hope you like how this chapter turned out! Does this count as hurt/comfort? I have no idea! :D


	13. Halloween Part 1

"Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers down your spine!"

Sam smiled and shook his head as Gabe's singing rang out from the other room. Gabe had been very... enthusiastic these last few days, to say the least. Sam had always loved Halloween. Unburdened by any painful memories like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Sam only had good memories of nights spent sneaking out with Dean and filling as many pillowcases as they could. Candy was a rare treat in their home, so Sam had always loved the opportunity to get it for free. But as much as Sam enjoyed Halloween, Gabe _worshipped_  it. Gabe had been blasting Halloween songs all week now. Sam was currently helping put up fuzzy black spider decorations because Gabe had declared that his dorm 'wasn't festive enough'. It was ridiculously endearing, Sam thought.

Just then Gabe came bouncing into the room, a witch's hat on his head and lyrics on his lips.

"We're so sorry skeletons! You're so misunderstood! You only want to socialize, but I don't think we should!"

Sam raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Are you sure that skeletons are really so misunderstood? They seem more the type to lurk in dark crypts waiting to rip some poor adventurer to shreds."

Gabe whacked Sam lightly on the arm.  
"What, you afraid of good old Mr. Rattlebones?" Gabe grinned, shaking the plastic skeleton in Sam's face.

"No, of course not!" Gabe just grinned at Sam's offended face and started to bounce off again.

"Sam's scared of skeletons! Sam's scared of skeletons!" Gabe cackled over his shoulder.

"What? No! Get back here!"

 

~~~~

 

They were getting ready to go to Charlie's costume party, and Sam was getting dressed in the bathroom. Charlie's parents were gone for the week and she had commandeered the house for the evening, so it was sure to be fun. Gabe had skittered off to load the car or something (they were bringing a veritable feast of sweets, who knew Gabe would be so good at confectionary work), and Sam had decided to go as a werewolf.

He adjusted his shirt once more in the mirror, looking over his ripped flannel with fake blood spatters and the dark brown makeup around his eyes. With the wolf mask in place he really looked the part. Smiling, Sam proceeded to the living room.

His steps stuttered to a halt when he saw who was standing there. Gabe was leaning against the wall, waiting for him, but _god_ , that outfit. There was that same witch hat from earlier, except now he was wearing a black form fitting dress that accentuated all of his curves so perfectly. The dress ended just around mid thigh and showed off his tan legs that then ended in black leather boots. Sam had known Gabe was dressing up as a witch, but he had not expected.... well, _this_. Sam thought it was incredibly hot.

Gabe's golden hair curled invitingly from under the hat and Sam found himself transfixed by the captivating creature that was his boyfriend. His boyfriend! He loved the way it sounded. Gabe was wearing a teasing smirk as he stepped into Sam's space.

  
"Do you like it?"

 

Sam's eyes couldn't stop moving, roving over every inch of Gabe. Wonderful, smart, fantastic Gabe with his heart of gold and his eyes that could burn with rage or soften in quieter moments between just the two of them. His Gabe. Sam kissed him. It was soft and quiet and full of wanting. Softer than Sam had meant for it to be. He could feel Gabe's smile on his lips and Sam couldn't help but smile back.

Entwining their fingers Sam pulls Gabe closer. The moment stretches, spirals and billows, like the salt water taffy Gabe loves. Sam loses track of how long they've kissed. Gabe laughs against his own mouth, soft and warm. Sam only pulls away when the need to breathe becomes overpowering. They are both breathing hard when they pull away, faces still held close together in a quiet intimate moment.

  
"I'll take that as a yes." Gabe's eyebrow is lifted in that teasing, questioning way that Sam loves. He doesn't let go of Gabe's hand.  
Gabe's smile is pure gold when Sam leans in and gives him another peck on the cheek.

  
"Ready to go?"

  
"Always."

  
~~~~

  
Charlie greets them with a happy squeal and a warm hug. She's dressed as the devil with pointy little horns and a red dress that matches her hair. When she pulls back her smiling face turns incredulous.

  
"Sam!" Her tone is sharp, disapproving. Sam wonders what he did. "God forbid Sam Winchester wears anything but flannel!" Sam blinks.

  
"What?" Charlie just groans and turns to Gabe like Sam's physically paining her to look at him. Sam turns to Gabe for help.

  
"Even to a costume party?" Charlie's voice is disbelieving. Gabe smiles sorrowfully and shakes his head slowly.

  
"I know. He's beyond hope."

  
"Hey!" Charlie just shakes her head at Sam's indignant sputtering.

  
"You probably only picked it out because all you'd have to do was add a mask, with that hair of yours you're practically already a werewolf." Charlie says matter of factly.

  
"Oh come on, you guys, can we please just go inside already?" Sam pleads. Gabe elbows him.

  
"What, you worried about seeing the full moon?" Sam groans.

  
"Oh, fuck you both." Sam stomps inside with Gabe and Charlie snickering behind him.

  
Sam can hear Charlie telling Gabe "I love your costume!" Sam huffs, picking his way through the crowd to the refreshments table. As irritating as they can be, Sam is glad they're enjoying themselves. Gabe and Charlie have been friends long before Sam met them, and they're unstoppable when you put them together. Unstoppably annoying sometimes yes, but Sam can't deny that it is rather fun to get up to mischief with them. Sam had helped them pull off a couple pranks in the past, (The story of Jane and the frogs was still a favorite at  parties), but Sam could admit that it was funnier when it wasn't directed at himself. Did he really wear that much flannel?

  
"Hey Sam!" A voice called out from the crowd. Sam finished pouring himself some punch and turned to search the crowd. There was Kevin smiling and waving at him.

  
"Hey, Kev, how's it going?" Sam smiled and highfived Kevin.

"Not much, just general anxiety over schoolwork and no sleep." Kevin says wryly.

  
"Oof, I feel ya man. You really should be getting more sleep though, it would help get you through the days." Kevin nods and offers a reassuring smile.

 

"Yeah, I'll try man."

 

"Oh yeah, how's your mom doing?" Sam asks. Kevin laughs.

  
"Good, good. Still kicking the PTA mom's asses over their lemon bars. You know, the usual." Kevin smiles fondly while Sam snickers.

  
"It's good to have hobbies." Sam can't help but laugh at the bemused shrug Kevin gives him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short and it took so long! Blah blah school and life and all the excuses you've heard before, the truth is it's just gonna take a bit longer to update and I hope you're okay with that.
> 
> I'm working on a longer more plot advancing chapter after I conclude the Halloween section but I just really wanted to let y'all know that I'm not dead and that this is still being worked on!
> 
> (For those of you who may be wondering, Jane is one of Sam's long standing rivals. She made fun of his hair and him being gay. He isn't even gay he's actually pan but it's not like she cared. Gabe and Charlie may or may not have slipped some frogs into her purse so that next time she opened it in class she began screaming as frogs poured over her lap...)
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely comments! They mean so much to me and I often go back to reread them if I'm feeling low on motivation. You guys are so awesome and honestly my inspiration and I love all of you! ♥️♥️


	14. Discontinued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry if you guys came to this hoping for an update but I don't think I will be continuing this fic. I've been more and more unhappy with how the show is progressing and I'm about done with this fandom now. I don't really have anymore ideas for this and so I'm going to free myself of this extra responsibility and work on some of my other wips. It's been fun and I hope you enjoyed this! Bye!

I really appreciated all the comments and feedback I got on this and thank you all for being wonderful readers!


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